Monday, June 9, 2008

When it is no longer Golden ©08

Cassia fistula -Golden Shower

I think we've all have had it happen at one time or another of someone or something that is absolutely bent on making you, the next door neighbor, the shoe shine man and anyone they come in contact with as miserable and shallow as they are.

You try forebearance, patience, humor, understanding, a dollop more of patience/compassion/humor, but their point is only to fill themselves up. And what they want to fill themselves up with is nothing they can get from you.
Or anyone else.

Their actions aren't from orignal thought, they have turn almost into an art form a manipulation, near parasitic urges to have what they could have all along if they had only looked inside themselves and work hard toward it.
But unfortuantely there is almost a spiritual laziness, looking for the easy out instead of good hard work. Its a laziness borne of hunger, spiritual malaise from being malnourished, too weak, so they think, to do something to restore themselves in a healthy way though unfortunately sometimes they do not get it until it is too late to be resurrected.

So what is one to do when one of these leech types threaten to suck the marrow out of their host?
There those times when you need to say clearly, enphatically & succintly to back off. There is no guarentee that they will, but you are setting a boundary in how far you will go to tolerate bad behavior. What you do after that depends greatly on the circumstance, your temperment and how willing you are to go.

But make note that many of these types of people are like a tree I understand is home to India called in its folk name "Golden Shower" It is a magnificent tree to look at with beautiful flowers blooming in abundance. But the Golden Shower trees is highly invasive and parasitic and once it takes root it is near impossible to eradicate. It will overgrow, smother any other plant that has the misfortune to be anywhere near, depriving the other plants of nutrients, water, sunlight and the ability to grow and prosper.

There are people that are like the Golden Shower tree. They will come along looking for a host to carry it to its next destination and once they get their roots growing they will invade until the other person figuratively die. That is if you let it or them suck the very air out of you. Remember it is necessary for them to have something to hold onto for life and energy and they will do whatever is necessary to grasp and hold on. Their very life in their eyes depends on it.

Unlike the Golden Shower Tree, these parasitic types can be uprooted and especially if you recognize it before it goes too far. I would suspect the majority of the times people who are invasive like this are not evil people. By no shape are they. The majority of the time they are very scared, lonely people who had another golden shower-like person to deprive them of necessary nutrients, water, air, light and the ability to grow. So they become stagnant, or dormant or stunted and truly on some level really do believe they can do it on their own.

And while you can have compassion for them, they are not a tree with no conscious thought or for that matter a conscience. They absolutely do have the ability to uproot and move out of the way so they can indeed grow. Unfortunatley they do not believe it and continue what they know.

So how far you go to grow and not allow them to suffocate you depends greatly on how or what they are doing matters to you. We all have to choose our battles and some things are far more important and outweigh any need to comtinue with them.

And then there are those times you have to make your position perfectly clear whether they heed it or not. Because it isn't for them, your stating your position. It is for you because one way or another they will move on, invade somewhere else until there is not left to suck dry.

Then in the end they are still what they had always feared the most.

The will be alone with themselves

And that is not cool

All rights servedJHM6-9-08©

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