Saturday, September 25, 2010

There's dumb, then there's dumber..

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions. They are easier to handle than dumb mistakes.~Unknown

Many people ask the wrong questions, which can hinder their work. That's why it is so important to ask the right questions--to get the right answers! Everyone fears looking stupid in front of other people. No one wants to ask a silly question and get laughed at. But not asking a question that needs an answer can have consequences that might be just as embarrassing or detrimental. If you're thinking about it, chances are that someone else is curious too. Your own fears can paralyze you, but deep down if the shoe were on the other foot, you probably wouldn't make fun of someone else for asking questions. Don't take the hard way and suffer through mistakes, speak up and clear up any confusion!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Way to Glow~Simple Act to Move a Mountain

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves."~ Dale Carnegie

I woke up this morning right about the same time when people in the hospital would have been flipping on lights,banging in your rooms, take blood pressure readings after waiting you up out of a dead sleep while I was in the hospital. After nearly 2 weeks of daily interrupted sleep, my body now is trying to find itself back into a more peaceful undisturbed restorative slumber.

I was thinking of someone, a certified nursing assistant that did a very small act for me, that touched my heart, restored dignity and respected my humanity. While it is a routine and simple thing that we do everyday, her act actually went deeper for me in restoring the hearth on the way to wellness.

She bathe me.

Yup, that simple.

When I was too weak, bewildered, overwhelmed, hurting feeling like part of a cattle herd being force down the chute for branding I was having difficulty caring , not my hygiene, but just the simple act of standing upright let along walking to the bathroom.

This sweetheart after making my bed with fresh sheets, bringing me water etc, brought in warm water and proceed to sponge bathe me.

One of the 1st things I thought is how overly sexualized our culture is that people would be shocked of one woman bathing another with other hints being tossed in, but it was not like that.

In other cases, people have become so alienated from one another, more often with very valid reasons, souls that have become fractured or shattered when a touch becomes some to fear or to hurt or someone control that we have forgotten or become unused to "caring without suffering attached to it.

People intellectualize or depersonalize "loving" people not in IRL, but at safe distances, losing out on our common humanity, "sharing" in Farmville sharing faux food instead of breaking bread in real life, in real time with people we know face on.

People go to such elaborate means to "care" only while it is abstract, at a distance and not have to really do anything. We have come to a point I thnk, in our collective mind, have absolutely lost our collective mind, seem to have lost our way over the simplest things that could make a difference.

For real...

In real time.

This nurse had no hidden agenda... It had nothing to do with "OMG a woman touched me!" but definitely of one tending to the sick & the needy.

I thought to myself, it is the 1st time since I was a baby since someone did something like that to me & tears welled up. It was comforting and it made me feel stronger.

I thought about that TV miniseries from a couple of decades ago "The Women of Brewster Place" starring Oprah Winfrey & a exceptional cast of actors. In the one scene after a young woman, played beautifully by actor Lynn Moody, lost her baby and while she she was almost comatose from grief a scene showed Ms Winfrey in character, bathing this young woman and she wept & wept & wept seems like forever.

The loving act was comforting allowing the woman to render her grief without having to do anything else, but grieve.

This was a lot like that for me.,

As I fell ,weakened, back in bed feeling so much better although weak, I thank her for what she had done and her response was she was simply doing her job. I told her it was more then that & that I bet she took really good care of her mama. She smiled and said she did indeed loved her mama. My thoughts was you could tell with all the tenderness she took care for me who was about the age of her mama but a total stranger.

I won't forget her easily and what she did for me...

We a re a composite, bits and pieces or a dizzying array of experiences emotions, living. everything we do can indeed affect in large or small ways other parts of our health.

When we care for all, we care for the one & the one will care for the all.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Way for me to Know~All the ways Healing takes Place

Blooming Basil 9-6-10 All rights reserved JHM

There are many who do not know I had an emergency hospital emergency 8 day stay with a 2nd surgery August 27th following a previous surgery stay August 11th. The second surgery came out of the blue while I was recuperating from the 1st surgery. I am ok home resting, weaken, but thankfully managing to survive 2 surgeries in 3 1/2 weeks!

Needless to say it has run a major curve for me the next few weeks. But I am here and I am healing! Which brings me to this story...

Today I had two unexpected visitors both bringing unexpected gifts. Funny thing in their way these two women brought me exactly what I needed for the day, their time attention & love.

While not knowing one another are very similar in personality and close in age (66 & 68) The 68 year old is very scattered brain, but huge heart, very passionate about New Orleans spending time before coming up my way helping others use Labor Day (how appropriately) to mow down all the high weeds & grass in a part of the Lower 9th Ward putting their time not talk into the community, health food,/organic living. She taught in Berkley on the reservations for a number of years, very hippie-ish and a very vocal advocate. Just really scattered, I tease her calling her Mrs. Magoo as driving with her is an experience.

. Anyway she went our local store and brought me lots of fresh fruit, some jambalaya (with shrimp only) a couple of newspapers & her company.

The 66 year old clean up my kitchen swept my floor, took out my garbage and visited. She also is very scattered, loud, unrefined but heart as big as all out doors. I was so tickled when she went to take out my garbage she out it in my compost because all the other times she came I gave her my compost bag to dispose so she thought this was going there too. She had never seen a compost or a organic garden before, very prim & proper knows very little about community activism, but can be verrrry vocal about ppl abusing the neighborhood.

But I watched her as she swept up my porch, bringing in all my clippings to go into my bag for my compost. (hmm maybe she's learning?) While I tried to figure out her cell phone as she knows nothing but the basics (on & off).

Shows you 60-something can be very eclectic eh?

And they are here for me as I am for them in ways that cannot always be measured. And while there are those days their collective scattering may send me up the wall, I KNOW they will be with me when the chips are down...

So now I tire and will lay down for awhile & thankful for this day.