Be a Character!

Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree.

- Richard M. Rayner, M.D.


What you Learn from Suffering
"Perhaps you think this isn't very positive' sounding, but I find it helps people (patients and friends) put hardship, which is inevitable, to good use," says Richard. "People can use their suffering either to gain character or become bitter. The ones who choose bitterness live a long, slow death. The ones who choose character truly live." Richard is right on the money. Happiness and sadness don't happen to us--they come from within. The story of your life will be written with or without your help. The next chapter is happening while you read this. Will you wait to see what it says later, or will you help write it?

There's dumb, then there's dumber..

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions. They are easier to handle than dumb mistakes.~Unknown

Many people ask the wrong questions, which can hinder their work. That's why it is so important to ask the right questions--to get the right answers! Everyone fears looking stupid in front of other people. No one wants to ask a silly question and get laughed at. But not asking a question that needs an answer can have consequences that might be just as embarrassing or detrimental. If you're thinking about it, chances are that someone else is curious too. Your own fears can paralyze you, but deep down if the shoe were on the other foot, you probably wouldn't make fun of someone else for asking questions. Don't take the hard way and suffer through mistakes, speak up and clear up any confusion!

Way to Glow~Simple Act to Move a Mountain

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves."~ Dale Carnegie

I woke up this morning right about the same time when people in the hospital would have been flipping on lights,banging in your rooms, take blood pressure readings after waiting you up out of a dead sleep while I was in the hospital. After nearly 2 weeks of daily interrupted sleep, my body now is trying to find itself back into a more peaceful undisturbed restorative slumber.

I was thinking of someone, a certified nursing assistant that did a very small act for me, that touched my heart, restored dignity and respected my humanity. While it is a routine and simple thing that we do everyday, her act actually went deeper for me in restoring the hearth on the way to wellness.

She bathe me.

Yup, that simple.

When I was too weak, bewildered, overwhelmed, hurting feeling like part of a cattle herd being force down the chute for branding I was having difficulty caring , not my hygiene, but just the simple act of standing upright let along walking to the bathroom.

This sweetheart after making my bed with fresh sheets, bringing me water etc, brought in warm water and proceed to sponge bathe me.

One of the 1st things I thought is how overly sexualized our culture is that people would be shocked of one woman bathing another with other hints being tossed in, but it was not like that.

In other cases, people have become so alienated from one another, more often with very valid reasons, souls that have become fractured or shattered when a touch becomes some to fear or to hurt or someone control that we have forgotten or become unused to "caring without suffering attached to it.

People intellectualize or depersonalize "loving" people not in IRL, but at safe distances, losing out on our common humanity, "sharing" in Farmville sharing faux food instead of breaking bread in real life, in real time with people we know face on.

People go to such elaborate means to "care" only while it is abstract, at a distance and not have to really do anything. We have come to a point I thnk, in our collective mind, have absolutely lost our collective mind, seem to have lost our way over the simplest things that could make a difference.

For real...

In real time.

This nurse had no hidden agenda... It had nothing to do with "OMG a woman touched me!" but definitely of one tending to the sick & the needy.

I thought to myself, it is the 1st time since I was a baby since someone did something like that to me & tears welled up. It was comforting and it made me feel stronger.

I thought about that TV miniseries from a couple of decades ago "The Women of Brewster Place" starring Oprah Winfrey & a exceptional cast of actors. In the one scene after a young woman, played beautifully by actor Lynn Moody, lost her baby and while she she was almost comatose from grief a scene showed Ms Winfrey in character, bathing this young woman and she wept & wept & wept seems like forever.

The loving act was comforting allowing the woman to render her grief without having to do anything else, but grieve.

This was a lot like that for me.,

As I fell ,weakened, back in bed feeling so much better although weak, I thank her for what she had done and her response was she was simply doing her job. I told her it was more then that & that I bet she took really good care of her mama. She smiled and said she did indeed loved her mama. My thoughts was you could tell with all the tenderness she took care for me who was about the age of her mama but a total stranger.

I won't forget her easily and what she did for me...

We a re a composite, bits and pieces or a dizzying array of experiences emotions, living. everything we do can indeed affect in large or small ways other parts of our health.

When we care for all, we care for the one & the one will care for the all.

Way for me to Know~All the ways Healing takes Place

Blooming Basil 9-6-10 All rights reserved JHM

There are many who do not know I had an emergency hospital emergency 8 day stay with a 2nd surgery August 27th following a previous surgery stay August 11th. The second surgery came out of the blue while I was recuperating from the 1st surgery. I am ok home resting, weaken, but thankfully managing to survive 2 surgeries in 3 1/2 weeks!

Needless to say it has run a major curve for me the next few weeks. But I am here and I am healing! Which brings me to this story...


Today I had two unexpected visitors both bringing unexpected gifts. Funny thing in their way these two women brought me exactly what I needed for the day, their time attention & love.

While not knowing one another are very similar in personality and close in age (66 & 68) The 68 year old is very scattered brain, but huge heart, very passionate about New Orleans spending time before coming up my way helping others use Labor Day (how appropriately) to mow down all the high weeds & grass in a part of the Lower 9th Ward putting their time not talk into the community, health food,/organic living. She taught in Berkley on the reservations for a number of years, very hippie-ish and a very vocal advocate. Just really scattered, I tease her calling her Mrs. Magoo as driving with her is an experience.

. Anyway she went our local store and brought me lots of fresh fruit, some jambalaya (with shrimp only) a couple of newspapers & her company.

The 66 year old clean up my kitchen swept my floor, took out my garbage and visited. She also is very scattered, loud, unrefined but heart as big as all out doors. I was so tickled when she went to take out my garbage she out it in my compost because all the other times she came I gave her my compost bag to dispose so she thought this was going there too. She had never seen a compost or a organic garden before, very prim & proper knows very little about community activism, but can be verrrry vocal about ppl abusing the neighborhood.

But I watched her as she swept up my porch, bringing in all my clippings to go into my bag for my compost. (hmm maybe she's learning?) While I tried to figure out her cell phone as she knows nothing but the basics (on & off).

Shows you 60-something can be very eclectic eh?

And they are here for me as I am for them in ways that cannot always be measured. And while there are those days their collective scattering may send me up the wall, I KNOW they will be with me when the chips are down...


So now I tire and will lay down for awhile & thankful for this day.

Can you Hear Me?

Wisdom has two parts:

1)-Having a lot to say.

2)-Not saying it.~Billboard in Vermont

The Wisdom of Listening

"One common trait to nearly every good leader is the art of listening. Many times, the best leaders can be among the quietest in the room. They know their time is well spent in hearing new perspectives, ideas, and thoughts. It's how they grow personally and build visions. The wisest leaders know that hearing themselves talk is no way to build trust and goodwill. You can do the same thing. When a friend needs to talk, resist the urge to give advice right away and just listen. Ask questions, and really try to understand the answer. When a customer calls, don't say a word about your product until you fully know their needs. When your spouse is hurting, it's not the time to prove that you were right. Over time, you can develop that leader-like sense of when to open your mouth and when to keep it clamped firmly shut".

Moon-ism:

Sometimes people are not looking for you to "fix" them or what they are experiencing, but simply to be heard. Today people really do not have the inclination, time or desire to really listen & hear people when they need to speak or be heard"...

We are such a microwaved culture that we fast forward to a conclusion and a "solution" before we even know ( or care) what we are fixing. Too often the end results is unnecessary cruelty or hurtful, impatient dimishing of a real suffering ergo far too many "let it go", "move ons" "or stop whinig" often accompanied by an impatient tone of voice or even worse tuning a person out. Then we are then surprised when we hear about a tragic suicide or someone acting out either causing harm to themselvers or God forbid to another.

Then comes the "if I had known", "maybe I should have paid more attention", etc or any other guilt laden terms to justify why we did not hear them from the beginning,which still takes attention away from the person's suffering. We should be more mindful of writing a script on someone elses' issues....

When was the last time you really paid attention to someone even when you think you've heard it all, or (from them) the same ole song? Or at least stop clicking on the keyboard for a moment to pay attention?

For the record I do not know how people think it is not being heard by phone or the occassional "uh-huh" mummuring.

People can hear you just so you know...

One that you maybe the person who needs to be heard or who then will be there for you?

Here is a great site http://www.rc.org/ with groups all over the world that can aid people if nothing else to become good listeners.

From their page:

About Re-evaluation Counseling
Re-evaluation Counseling is a process whereby people of all ages and of all backgrounds can learn how to exchange effective help with each other in order to free themselves from the effects of past distress experiences.

Re-evaluation Counseling theory provides a model of what a human being can be like in the area of his/her interaction with other human beings and his/her environment. The theory assumes that everyone is born with tremendous intellectual potential, natural zest, and lovingness, but that these qualities have become blocked and obscured in adults as the result of accumulated distress experiences (fear, hurt, loss, pain, anger, embarrassment, etc.) which begin early in our lives.

Any young person would recover from such distress spontaneously by use of the natural process of emotional discharge (crying, trembling, raging, laughing, etc.). However, this natural process is usually interfered with by well-meaning people ("Don't cry," "Be a big boy," etc.) who erroneously equate the emotional discharge (the healing of the hurt) with the hurt itself.

When adequate emotional discharge can take place, the person is freed from the rigid pattern of behavior and feeling left by the hurt. The basic loving, cooperative, intelligent, and zestful nature is then free to operate. Such a person will tend to be more effective in looking out for his or her own interests and the interests of others, and will be more capable of acting successfully against injustice.

In recovering and using the natural discharge process, two people take turns counseling and being counseled. The one acting as the counselor listens, draws the other out and permits, encourages, and assists emotional discharge. The one acting as client talks and discharges and re-evaluates. With experience and increased confidence and trust in each other, the process works better and better.

Moral lesson...

True or not, the prnciple is absolutely appropiate considering we rush to judgement in such a rushed, visual society...



A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office.

The secretary quickly assumed that such backwoods country hicks had no business at Harvard & certainly not in the President's office. "We'd like to see the president," the man said softly. "He will be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We will wait," the lady replied softly.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president against her better judgment.

"Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave," she said to him. He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with these people, and he detested the idea of folks in gingham dresses and homespun suits loitering in his outer office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple and introduced himself. The lady told him: "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was so happy here. But before he could return for his second year, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus." The president wasn't touched. He was shocked.

"Madam," he said gruffly, "we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died.. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery." "Oh no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced again at the gingham dress and the homspun suit. "Do you know how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings alone here at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent.

The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own? " Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment as they proudly strolled from his office.

Mr. & Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling next to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.

It Dawned on me to share these words~Not of my Own

"Break" Photography by JHM ©09

Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found it was ourselves.

- Robert Frost



Who is standing in your way?

Imagine someone regularly tying small weights around your ankles as you try to climb a mountain. Doesn't sound fair, does it? But that's exactly what you can do to yourself, a little bit at a time, if you don't watch out. When you think of who and what is standing in the way of your dreams, it's easy to forget your own responsibility. Even the best of us can be guilty of unknowingly hurting our own progress. Procrastination, lateness, being disorganized, pessimism, not being honest with yourself, severe self-criticism, downplaying achievements, focusing only on weaknesses while ignoring strengths, keeping goals a secret, demanding perfection, giving up after a small setback--these are all ways you can make it tough to be (and do) your best. Smart systems, the right attitude, and a promise to keep going no matter what will make a world of difference.

On the eve of the Beginnng of the Last Year of the 1st Decade of the 21st Century

Sent to me by another artst. A gem in the NY Times:





A Final Word
By Illegal ART

What did you leave unsaid this year? A goodbye? A comeback? A revelatory thought?
...words remind us of things we should have said, but didn't, and maybe things we said, but now regret.
They also remind us that with a new year only hours away, there's still time to get in an important last word before the clock stricks midnight. "

I said way too much this year and way too little.
I wish I had told my late brother in law that I loved him, more often.
I wish even more that I had shown it.
To the people who I was rigid with or unforgiving, I wish I had been kinder.
I have been forgiven much and welcome back into many folds. I wish I had had courage and grace enough to to do the same for others.
In the new year I will do better.
Life is short and it can be so sweet if we make it that way.
Create your own reality.
Forgive more, tell people you love them more. Then show them.
I thank all my Spirit Mothers and Spirit sisters and my Mom for life and loving me.
I thank my children for growing into wonderful adults and for loving me, when I am less than perfect.
Fly free of regret, by lettting go or healing a hurt if you can.
There is only love..
We still have 11 hours.
Aiming High on into 2010

I Get By with Some Help from My Friends...

Yesterday, I had 2 separate opportunities to converse with 2 sisterfrends on opposite sides of the U.S.

And the second one was a renewal of someone who had not seen or spoken to in several years. It was not that we had any problems with one another, just time, circumstances and busy stuff got in the way.

We fell in together as time melted away picking up a familiar rhythm from times of yore. I commented to her of the ones who have re-entered my life from a not to distance past that I'm happy to see again. in fact, she gift me wth a qote: "Between rocks & these hard places, I am makng diamonds". A right on spot at a moment I needed to hear it.

I also have been to connecting with my best friend from high school who I was delighted to tell her today what I did not know in 1964 & that she was my Nettie (from the Color Purple) when we were both 14. Much to my suprise she told me she used to call me Jackie O (in 1964 she wold have been Jackie Kennedy) that I had style even then...And here I thought of myself as this shy, skinny nobody wanted to be around me teenager...

Having friends near and far is something to not take lightly as they are your living breathing "her-story". I cringe when I hear yong(er)women say they do not get along with other "females". Or do not trust them or limit their tme or heart with other women. Not "females" but real flesh & blood walking recordings of your life, your phases, your growth.

To deny yourself the richness of that experience is sad & a loss not easy to retrieve.
Try to get by without help from your friends and see how empty your life will be.You will get by, yes, but s that what yo want to settle for?

As the Beatles sing: " What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not o sing out of key

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love"

I'm gonna try with a lil help from my friends...

Stepping closer to the light at the end of the tunnel

In the depths of winter, I finally found there was in me an invincible summer.
- Albert Camus, author

Stepping closer to the light at the end of the tunnel

Hard times are inevitable--death, financial struggle, family problems, the loss of a job, depression--all of these tough times are just seasons.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "This too shall pass," and you can apply it to both the good times and the bad.

The thrill of a new relationship won't endure forever, just as the grief of losing a loved one won't either. So endure the hardships of life, knowing that time will eventually heal your wounds and you will make it through.

Think about what struggles have occurred in your life and what they taught you. No matter how dim the light at the end of the tunnel seems, it is still a light. Each day is an opportunity for that light of hope to get closer and closer, until eventually the clouds above your head part and you feel the forgotten sunshine on you again. Overcoming pain makes you stronger and better equipped to handle the next valley.

Now from me...

Sur une note qui donne à réfléchir~On a sobering note...

Ok on August 29th,2005... Hurricane Katrina made landfall in South east Louisiana.

A sobering thought: Please take a moment today in the midst of all the everyday things, the stresses & the joys in your world & be mindful of the survivors of Katrina from Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana & Texas.

Today, observations on the anniversary of Katrina will be made with many reflections such as mine. And many will bring their own unique perspective, like I, to express what it means, not means, should have meant on this occasion.

There are still 4 years later well over 3,000+ people in Louisiana alone who were swept out to sea and many who are still MIA.

It is rather sad that now it has become a short byte on the news and even the major networks have not made a comment about it nationally, yet,except CNN. Easy how somethingcan fade so quickly as new troubles loom.

(If you have cable CNN tonight 10pm EST/7pm PST will be doing a piece called "After the Storm" where N.O is today).

I can say to one and all no matter where you sit on how all this happened and what was or not done do something.

And if you cannot do something for the citizens of the Gulf Coast, know among you in your towns are former evacuees who has set up residency. Be mindful that you may not know who you are talking to so if you have something negative to say, keep it to yourself. No matter if you feel people "should let go, move on or what's wrong with you etc" today they do not need to hear that opinion.

In fact it is nothing short of remarkable the improvements that have been made. Make no mistake it will all not come together at one time nor in the way people expect it to.

In the case of N.O you cannot rebuild almost 300 year old city in 4 years. Just like many here who are re sparking their lives & health, this is being done on a far larger scale. Pre Katrina there were 800 restaurants. Post Katrina there are over 1,000. It has been nothing short of extraordinary what ordinary people can do or rise to the challenge.

As of now 72% of N.O pre-Katrina population is there including, the visionaries, entrepreneurs, community activists, artists, planners and people looking to be of service in something bigger then themselves.

Oh the energy is alive & kicking.

Laissez la bonne ville grandir (Let the Good Town Grow!)

But we should not want to forget, ever. Not completely... To do so it will be as human being can do, become complacent & too comfortable. I am not talking about picking at wounds not allowing them to heal, but remember, not letting the ones who died, those communities still building or ones who are still dealing with trauma to have what they endured be in vain...
If you have never met with that level of devastation and shock you have no right to burden someone needlessly.

At least not today...

And if you cannot assist them, assist someone in your community with a kind word, a smile or a flower in honor of them...

I am not so naive as to believe things are idyllic or peachy keen.

Lots need to be done, but I think we are going to set anew, a level or a model for others not only in the U.S. but globally since we have been thrust into being the spectacle in the arena

I love the adage "Barn burn down. Now I can see the sky!"

Que le spectacle bonne ville (Let the Good Town Show)

What you can Do.

The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him no good.
~ Ann Landers


Magnifying small sacrifices

How do you treat people who cannot (or choose not to) repay you for the good things that you have done for them? Do you hold a grudge, speak ill of them, or constantly keep score? Think about a homeless man in need of a hot meal, the elderly woman who cannot open the door by herself at the store, or a lost child. Probably none of these individuals could equally compensate you for any sacrifices you make on their behalves. There remains but two choices--help or ignore. Our minds easily jump to putting them out of our minds and going about our days. But imagine the good you could do if you took a small moment of your time or the change out of your pocket. Such a small sacrifice (from your perspective of course), could have a 10-fold positive impact!

Take Your Foot Off the Gas for a Minute

Diana Prescott,photographer

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.
- Lion from Wizard of Oz

Awareness through downshifting

Often our first reaction to a stressful situation is to overcompensate and overwork to overcome whatever it is. Sometimes though, the best thing you can do it step away, take a breath, and come back to tackle the problem with a clear head. Replacing important things in your life with work only causes anxiety to build up--not to mention that it takes the joy out of life. Vacation does not have to mean physically leaving your everyday life and jet setting to the beach.

Whatever relaxes you, brings more clarity, or calms your mind during times of stress can certainly be enough to rejuvenate! When logic tells you to quicken your pace and pile on the extra work, yet your heart is reminding you of the meaningful time you are neglecting with family, friends, and yourself, it's time to slow down.

Often letting off on the gas for a period of time can compose and refocus your mind.

Don't Let them Bring You Down...

Candle in the Mirror photograph ©09~Courtesy Of Diana Stock-Prescott

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

THE LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? The mark of a successful person is how quickly they can get back their focus on what's important.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened: I hopped in a taxi and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly.

So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this was the taxi driver's reply, "Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally...just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did."

So this was it: The 'Law of the Garbage Truck'.

I started thinking, how often do I let garbage trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore."

I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie 'The Sixth Sense',the little boy said, "I see dead people." Well, now "I see garbage trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my taxi driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled and he never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting.

Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses.

Leaders and parents should know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today,if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here's my bet: you'll be happier.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

So: Love the people who treat you right.

Forget about the ones who don't.

Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance...TAKE IT!

And if it changes your life...LET IT!

Declaration of Me~On My Side of the Fence

I am a pretty groovy woman if I say so myself.

And I am not gonna do the "appropriate" thing as it is expected or conditioned for a woman to do when she acknowledges her assets by down playing, externalizing what she can do by saying "it just happened or someone is far better at doing XYZ as I" because we all know the world including the culture of women who will, in some corners, punish one with either a benign "tsk, tsk, tsk" to an outright character assassination to remind you of your place if you have the audacity of affirming yourself.

It can make some folks nervous, having audacity, as one has to have some sense of feeling & knowing being powerful to be what they are especially if they possess a uterus. And when one has not reached that point may feel uncomfortable when another does, or had it/lost it/retrieved it/lost it again even for a minute may feel they have to "tsk, tsk", I say that's ok.

However, if any reader feels they have to even in their thoughts, I say of you, save yourself the trouble of "tsking" as I've heard it before & will probably hear it again. However it will not be today or tomorrow or the day after. I cannot do much for your thoughts as that is your free-ness, just don't send it to me.

Alright?

I know on good authority that the sun will still come up everyday without fail. Even if you cannot see it for a moment behind the cloud that will deflect its glow, its going to come out...

Now, despite a whole lotta shakin goin' on previously in my life, I have managed,nay actively have embraced living, indeed having a whole lot of love to share, move a few mountain, supported many a soul, laughed, made contributions to others, made a few ripples, alter some perception inclusive of an active healthy appreciation of who I am.

As Kahlil Gibran once said:
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven"?

Without a question I am flawed, however it is the cayenne pepper, the oomph that keeps me from sainthood which I do not desire or aspire to anyway. And as many a person who has known me my almost 59 years know (and still care) I have made decisions as a after thought were not the best. But no one can deny me of the fact that I at least chose to do something. And while sometimes, well, many times I feel on my very ample derriere', I got up. Sometimes I had to sit there and catch my breath or my bearings, I got up. And was able to at time sashay, saunter, strut or at times very carefully so move ahead.

In fact, just in the last few days I've enjoy an amazing amount of liberation. Knowledge is so powerful. Not only the knowledge that can be intellectual, but the kind that reaches into the very marrow of your bones. It is mighty nice, to put it nicely. Actually it is at least metaphorically speaking one of those "I wanna go to the mountaintop and scream it to the world" but shan't not because this baby is for me.

And it is a groovy kind of love.

I am good with it....

Somewhere and I know now where it happen, when I turn over the keys to my life, but now I have repossess my vehicle and in the driver's seat. And now ready to rock & roll right on over all the packaging that once was my ally and now has slowed me down.

I am a visual artist/poet, mother of 3, grandmother of 8, embarking on returning not only back to New Orleans my home, but also ready to re spark my career, my world and my identity.My sabbitical is over, I will no longer be in a self imposed exile.

I will indeed have even bigger, joy to the world totally realistic that it won't always be joyous all the time as this is not how cycles go. But that even as Anthony Robbins said recently on Good Morning America "We are in the winter right now", I have to add "spring is coming an with it rebirth, regrowth, re-sparking!


"Hard times and funky living can season the soul, true enough, but joy is the yeast that makes it rise".~Ruby Moon

Now how cool is that!

Feed your Mind-Coping

I heard this on Good Morning America 3 weeks ago and thought I could not find the link. Anthony Robbins made extremely excellent comments here and I would like to share with you...

He said it better then I so check it out at:
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7506072

Seeing the Wonder in Wonderland

Biemvenue! This is my first ever blog and my very first posting. After getting numerous comments from people as to why I have not done it before on impulse this evenig I decided why not? If I continue to put off doing this as I have put off other things before I may never get a chance to see the wonder in wonderland.

These essays came about from another discussion group and after getting almost 20,000 hits I deicded well maybe they are right, maybe there will be someone who would be interested in my moonlight ramblings.

Bear with me as I figure things out as I am not of the generation that grew up with Ipods,blogs,texting and a host of other things.

I do hope you enjoy this process for me & if you don't at least be gentle...

So ok... Here we go.

Reading someone comments about being discouraged because they tried something and swore they never would do it again made me think of a experience I had several years ago when I was in St Kitts/Nevis Island in the West Indies on a women's retreat. One of the things we had schedule was a hike in a rain forest.

Yup.

Starry, starry nights…

So there I was in May 2001 & I was not going to go because I did not think my knees (which were in better shape then & I was 50 pounds lighter) could make the hike I was going to sit on the edge of the rainforest and wait until people return and enjoy the beautiful skies and the birds and what I could see.

We had hiking guides that took us through. There were three other women who had knee, hip or back issues like I who were reluctant, but truly did not want to miss out on the experience. So impulsively I said lets go and we will simply be the caboose and brig up the rear.

What a experience we had seeing birds, foliage trees that were jaw dropping gorgeous. Seeing things that we buy in the nursery in its natural habitat in sizes we had never see before. And flower called firecracker (and that is exactly what it looked like) I have a picture of me standing in the folds of the roots of a tree that was at least 2 stories high(I kid you not). We were because of the laws could not remove anything from the rain forest if it was not already open like a pod shell. I still have a collection of them some I have made into earrings. We simply walked moderately and at some point lost the other group but the guide was still with us. And we helped each other when there were places we had to climb over step over or go down slowly.

By the time we got to the end the biggest and most tender surprise awaited us. There off in the clearing was the rest of the group that patiently waited for us and they burst into cheering, stomping and whistling and our group just strutted and pranced down that last few feet. It was so touching not only seeing that level of sisterhood, but the fact that we chose to have a well lived life, storing up another experience that if we had let fear and worry restrict us, we would have lost out on a opportunity to walk through a rain forest.

Starry, starry nights…

I mean how many people get to do that? And we all many parts damaged but we did it. And to this day I still grin when I think of that experience and others that came while on those islands. I who do not care for large bodies of water actually boarded a ferry in the Caribbean Sea so we could cross from St. Kitts to Nevis and while for the first few minutes would not let go of the interior pole in this 20 min trip, actually let the pole go and went to the side to take pictures! And I would have missed out on a gorgeous plantation and the to die for food and sat on the veranda and wrote a wonderful poem about the extraordinary woman who organized this whole event as I saw her rushing across the lawn to tend to yet another detail to make this experience truly wonderful for all of us.

"Wind Runner shifting in the breeze...Tendrils flowing between the leaves.Coming from somewhere, returning to a bared truthsThat bears to share, to declare!The unseen scene.Wind Runner...Can you dig on massive, circling waves.Of fragrant rose-mangoed, salty sea breezes?Rolling through the veranda on a mission?Wind runner shifting in the breeze...Tendrils flowing between the leaves.Lifting you.Up & up & up! Gliding on the wings of the unseen scene...And I've shared an exquisite, captivating sigh with you...Lavender 'n grapefruit airborne morning gloried sunset skies.Swirling through the Wind Runner slippered feet.As you flow through the unseen scene, we'll be with youKeeping pace.Wind Runner shifting in the breeze...Tendrils flowing in the leaves.Coming from somewhere.Returning to bared truths.That bears you onto the unseen scene".

How little I was to know in this experience that less then 5 months later Sept other was going to hit? But that week from start to finish was an experience that was going to stay with me forever.
And what if I had vetoed going. I mean after all I was going to have to fly over a ocean and a sea, but if I hadn't I would not have seen the beauty of Kuba, Puerto Rico, Granada and a host of other tiny jewels from the sky. Or feel the trade winds or see the night sky so lit up and take your breath away. Or the crab that decided to pose for a picture or wind the dance contest and brought back the biggest bottle of rum (and I don't drink) or a host of amazing experiences.

So I ask,what holds you back? When did we stop trying new things? Can we say we hold ourselves back because a unwarranted fear? Can you take a risk? Sometimes we don't take a chance because we are afraid of that we will look foolish or we will mess things up.

And I say , so what?

Sometimes we get so settled because someone else us we're too old or too young, too fat, to broke. But you know what? We can be too-too...

And in time it just becomes to easy to live out loud. I plead guilty of that at times which is another reason why I am making the leap of this move going into the unseen scene. And trust me though few would say it to my face, even among some of my friends they would quietly roll their eyes and say "That's Moon. No wonder she ______________(you fill in the blanks)" But secretly some of them could come to me and say how much they admire my chutzpah. And you know I know that sometimes they are secretly envious because I do do some of the things they fantasize about but won't.

Starry, starry nights…

And it doesn't mean sometimes I fall flat on my face, cause I have and sometimes with a loud resounding thunk! And sometimes several thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk! But if we look at how children used to be and still to some degree know that there are times when you just have to jump in feet first to have fun or to dare to do the do. How many of us who are old enough to remember put the towel on our neck and pretended to be Superman, Batman or for those who wanted, Wonder Woman? Of course we knew even in our childish fantasies we couldn't really fly, but that didn't stop us from trying!

At what price we do we stop paying our dues to sustain a well live life? I don't mean for some people they do not have to go off to a hike in a rainforest or run up and down the West Coast with very little money and no job but what price do we pay for no growth, no sense of discovery, few real experiences? For some it will be buying their first home or changing a job different from their degree or going back to college at age 70 or knowing when to stay put.

Or like me taking this time to write a book and seriously pursue getting it published or setting up a blog not knowing if any would read or care much about my words...

For me the sacrifice isn't worth it, not doing it & the dash between my beginnings and my end will be quite long...

Starry, starry nights…

And I'll have lots of experiences to tell the younger grandchildren and hopefully great grands who think their Grammy is pretty cool.

Starry, starry nights underneath moon dusted skies.
I was being charmed by clouds drifting toward distant canopies far off & a long way.
Just a’glowing melodic declarations of itself on turquoise quiet seas…
To my eyes an orchestrated a sumptuous, visual feast.
While dusky eyes alight upon your heart as I gazed at you afar.
Oh the starry, starry night underneath moonlit heavens.
A rapture of husky night sounds murmuring sounds of future promised times.
And the tiptoed, pensive thoughts rotating, gyrating…
Not daring yet wanting to come next to me.
What was brought about, be the cause of what finally into the light?
Ah, the starry, starry nights underneath moon rhythms.
Yearning to be brought to fruition the sounds of ripening sweet mangoes tasted dreams.
Cremaos en los suenos ("We believe in dreams)…
Of shared fingers, uncommon thoughts weightless promises of times not caught sight of.
Dreamy eyes off in the distant light seeing & knowing in a for a moment place
That was there for the minute underneath starry, starry nights layered under a Kittian sky.
My heart knew then that it shall be grand & at peace.

Life is full of adventures and some of them are right underneath you nose, but if you are a gotta, gotta, gotta person sort of like the schizophrenic rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, never slowing down for a moment to look around & explore savor and then do it ,you may never get to see the wonder in the land.