Speaking Words of Wisdom

" Three Things cannot be long hidden: the Sun, the Moon & the Truth"~ Buddha

Be Still my Heart..Lest I should Chance©10

I was actually writing a response to a question in one of my team member this morning which spurred me to expand a little of my thoughts to her question today.  


After a second night of waking up at 3am unable to return back to sleep, I "listened" in my heart which is usually my freshest best thinking.  My first conscious thoughts in the morning when I pay attention and not rush off to others jabbering tends to be the most accurate.


My 1st thoughts today was "I don't want this any more".  Now those thoughts did not tell me exactly what "THIS" is or was, just I did not want "this" any longer.


If I know my heart well enough it will let me know in more clarity if I just be still & leave it alone so it (or me) can get to it.  


I feel sadly  about someone I thought I was getting to know a bit  over the last 4-5 months ago said something  a few days ago in a conversation we were having about their  their view about who I am , what I am about & where they think I should be.  I was a bit surprised how they came to their conclusions  as the times we have been together  have been limited, infrequent and even in that span he spent a great deal of time interrupting me, but yet he draped a conclusion that was really off base.


No I did not take his proclamations as being gospel truth (and for the record it was not all bad), in fact although skewed & racked with misinformation, I was pretty amazed that I sat & listened.  


Ok,I confess,  I was really curious what he thought...


As I reflect back on that conversation I came to my own conclusion that maybe I need to treat this person gently, but at a safer distance... His definition of me did not jibe with me.  I think his motive while he felt he was being sincere & well intended had a lot less to do with me then things he are working on himself with a wee bit of male arrogance & presumption thrown in for a garnish.


Then this morning looking somewhere else this quote caught my eye:

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Wayne Dyer .

So his defining me really was more about how he defined himself. I won't go into his background but to say he was defining his own history while he was "thought" me.


I don't know if it ever goes away this modern trend of humans who make extremely fast judgements and actually going out to reshape other people with or without their consent.


 I do know that negative views are not always a negative thing to wash away easily .   How we use it may allow a different shape or texture to emerge or we may view it with different lens which may by doing that turns a negative into a positive(?) if we want that? 


My self image isn't usually a negative one but then how do you know if something is positive if there isn't something negative to contradict it?  


What I do know  that right now in this tumultuous time, many a day I am tired, very tired and need a serious break from all the stuff that my current circumstances which is way too much like a popular series which keeps having spin offs with knowing the next spin off is getting worse, so it is time to close out the brand.


I do not want to hear by pundits, self-appointed cultural shapers, low mouth selfish blow-hards who in a more sane time be dismissed as so much wind warming the air tell me, you or who how it is to be done if you only _________" while you are drowning and they hand you a glass of tepid water  while you're crashing around in high waves.  


Ok ok I am not spinning wheels here, but I just don't see life as always being sunshine, lollipops and rainbows every second,.  You cannot have rainbows w/o rain. And night has to fall for the sunshine to appear.  And you WILL encounter jerks, naysayers, twisted people, lonely souls and lets face it mighty cruel,selfish people who sole job it appears is to remind you NOT to be like that.


Other days I am not that noble or magnanimous or brave enough to face gale force winds with my eyes focused on the prize...As that old country western song would say "it only happens in the movies..(or TV, DVDs or the Internet).


I'm not sure yet where I will go with that.  Or with this.


What I know rings true for me is when  when my synapses are firing up and I am during these middle of the night wake up, I have to do one thing well.


Be Still ...
And:

All rights Reserved JHM12-6-10©

Out of want~ Its the littlle things that can make a difference!

I wish I could have thought of this. Not my words,but they sure was reading my mind!


For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. For want of the shoe, the horse was lost. For want of the horse, the rider was lost. For want of the rider, the battle was lost. For want of the battle, the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail!

~ Old English rhyme



Your smallest actions add up to something big

Everything you do makes a difference. Even if you're not on the front lines leading the effort, you have a contribution to make. Without your contribution, no matter how small, so many other things would never happen. The world needs what you have to offer. You have no idea how the simplest of your everyday actions can effect your child, and even people you've never met. Chances are, you'll never know. But if you're looking for a purpose to work toward, all you need is the desire and the right perspective. Define yourself as your task, and that's all you'll ever be. Define yourself as your contribution to your family, and suddenly you're a very important part of a bigger picture. The biggest pictures are the ones where there's room for everyone to be seen.
www.sparkspeople.com

The End of a Road;Begin Anew...

In 6 days I will be boarding the train heading home to New Orleans & am I excited! I had to reflect to day that I am also coming to the end of another road with few regrets and with some appreciation.



In my "sabbatical" as I call it this last year I've learned a lot of things about myself. And despite some of the trials, it was indeed a good thing so I have few regrets.

In 6 days I will be boarding the train heading home to New Orleans & am I ready to rock & roll getting the creative juices to flow!

I've learn not to take myself or others so seriously and to be serious about what is necessary.

One thing I learned is to be still.

Another is the world will not fall apart if I am not rushing pell mell . I can indeed (and did) take some of the stress off myself.

I had lots and lots of time to think, renew & enjoy my own company.

I created a garden; took up photography...

I created a new paradigm.

I got to see my grandchild born, spend time, albeit very little, with my son & saw pine trees w daisies at the ocean.

And while unfortunately I watch my health deteriorate some, I also have gain some skills and tools to renew that too. We need health care so badly for all.

I relinquished a few friendships that were not quite as friendly & gain a few new allies.

I watch deer in my yard, had a yellow tabby & a grey Himalayan cats visit me on a regular basis.

I saw lovely butterflies, humming birds and wild turkeys.

I learn not to take myself or others so seriously and to be serious about what is necessary.
And I embrace two people who had faith in my ability to renew & fly!

So I say I have few regrets, many struggles but I made it. I might not have known all of this if I had not taken that leap of faith and moved across country.

As a friend said to me "One thing is for sure: when you leap off a cliff you will do one or two things; You will hit something solid or you will learn to fly"

Well guess what Karen, I managed to do both!

How cool is that!

Declaration of Me~On My Side of the Fence

I am a pretty groovy woman if I say so myself.

And I am not gonna do the "appropriate" thing as it is expected or conditioned for a woman to do when she acknowledges her assets by down playing, externalizing what she can do by saying "it just happened or someone is far better at doing XYZ as I" because we all know the world including the culture of women who will, in some corners, punish one with either a benign "tsk, tsk, tsk" to an outright character assassination to remind you of your place if you have the audacity of affirming yourself.

It can make some folks nervous, having audacity, as one has to have some sense of feeling & knowing being powerful to be what they are especially if they possess a uterus. And when one has not reached that point may feel uncomfortable when another does, or had it/lost it/retrieved it/lost it again even for a minute may feel they have to "tsk, tsk", I say that's ok.

However, if any reader feels they have to even in their thoughts, I say of you, save yourself the trouble of "tsking" as I've heard it before & will probably hear it again. However it will not be today or tomorrow or the day after. I cannot do much for your thoughts as that is your free-ness, just don't send it to me.

Alright?

I know on good authority that the sun will still come up everyday without fail. Even if you cannot see it for a moment behind the cloud that will deflect its glow, its going to come out...

Now, despite a whole lotta shakin goin' on previously in my life, I have managed,nay actively have embraced living, indeed having a whole lot of love to share, move a few mountain, supported many a soul, laughed, made contributions to others, made a few ripples, alter some perception inclusive of an active healthy appreciation of who I am.

As Kahlil Gibran once said:
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven"?

Without a question I am flawed, however it is the cayenne pepper, the oomph that keeps me from sainthood which I do not desire or aspire to anyway. And as many a person who has known me my almost 59 years know (and still care) I have made decisions as a after thought were not the best. But no one can deny me of the fact that I at least chose to do something. And while sometimes, well, many times I feel on my very ample derriere', I got up. Sometimes I had to sit there and catch my breath or my bearings, I got up. And was able to at time sashay, saunter, strut or at times very carefully so move ahead.

In fact, just in the last few days I've enjoy an amazing amount of liberation. Knowledge is so powerful. Not only the knowledge that can be intellectual, but the kind that reaches into the very marrow of your bones. It is mighty nice, to put it nicely. Actually it is at least metaphorically speaking one of those "I wanna go to the mountaintop and scream it to the world" but shan't not because this baby is for me.

And it is a groovy kind of love.

I am good with it....

Somewhere and I know now where it happen, when I turn over the keys to my life, but now I have repossess my vehicle and in the driver's seat. And now ready to rock & roll right on over all the packaging that once was my ally and now has slowed me down.

I am a visual artist/poet, mother of 3, grandmother of 8, embarking on returning not only back to New Orleans my home, but also ready to re spark my career, my world and my identity.My sabbitical is over, I will no longer be in a self imposed exile.

I will indeed have even bigger, joy to the world totally realistic that it won't always be joyous all the time as this is not how cycles go. But that even as Anthony Robbins said recently on Good Morning America "We are in the winter right now", I have to add "spring is coming an with it rebirth, regrowth, re-sparking!


"Hard times and funky living can season the soul, true enough, but joy is the yeast that makes it rise".~Ruby Moon

Now how cool is that!

Someone got Ready...©08

Today I ran into a former a business acquaintance of mine .

He was positively glowing and seem happier then I had ever seen him & I had to tease him a bit about who was the new love in his life.

Well turns out he had quite smoking several weeks ago and it showed! When I asked him how did he do it and turns out he had been in the hospital a few weeks ago and spent 8 days and did not smoke. He thought then "Well if I went 8 days without a cigarette I could just continue"...

And so he did.

He looks great, really great and tells me he is enjoying food, the wonderful tastes and has even cut back greatly on coffee and Coke. In the four years I have made his acquaintance he sometimes would subsist only on cigarettes, coffee and coke. And had tried to quit smoking for over 10 years. This was a person who had struggled for 30 of his 50+ years with alcohol and substance abuse, lost a leg in a shootout in his teens managed somehow to overcome his addictions but could not could not seemed to stop smoking.

Never could he maintain a loving relationship with a woman, he loved women, but like some people rebuff when a woman got to close and wanted rightfully so a more committed, loving relationship with him. This was a man that had a lot to offer but did not see that he was worthy to allow someone to love him completely and find fulfillment.

According to him he has a nasty temper and I have witnessed it twice myself, but have always known him to be able easily to humble himself and apologize for his actions. What ever shadows were chasing him all his life he seem not to be able to put them down and rest. This was a man who cam from a 2 parent loving home, had his needs met, but somewhere along the line from what little he felt free to tell me, he did not think he was worthy.

In school he was teased and mocked a lot as he is not a tall man and quite slender, but did have a certain attractiveness about him and my suspicion there was some envy on the parts of the one who persecuted him.

But at the end of the day, he did find something deep in him that first gave him the ability to work on the alcohol & illegal drugs and now cigarettes. I've seen him start & stop counseling so many times that none of his friends batted an eye when he would try again.

But he did it, he did try again.

And so can any on us whatever it is that is holding you back or down. Like the Chinese proverb "Fall down seven, get up eight" You just keep getting up and starting where you are.

You owe it to yourself and you owe it to the rest of the world to be the best possible human being you can.

His examples shows that when a person is ready, really ready, they will do it.

And how cool is that?

All rights reservedJHM©08