Oh Grow Up!

The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.~John Maxwell

Some days I feel more grown up then others...


There are those days when I take myself too seriously and it can be taxing and wearing and I have to lighten up a bit... 

"People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don't suffer anymore." ~Author Unknown

I like to think that I won't lose the wonder-sense of a child, yet develop and maintain the wisdom that comes with maturity.  I am just enough of an optimist that one can have both; that they can live comfortably and interchangeably in me (and you).


Having that wonderment is not being immature.  Having life leaping out from you, exploring old things with fresher eyes, fresh things with an old soul, having a soulful, cocky, peppy step doesn't have a timeline unless you are 6 feet under, having an attitude of I'm good or It's good is indeed viable.


And contagious...




It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available—more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don't have to run into the future in order to get more, no matter how sorrowful the world is that day, no matter how sorrowed we may feel from what we think are lost times, denied times or abandoned dreams.


Trust me I know about that, still have some of those times even now, but doggone it despite, it all I still see goodness in sometimes the most inopportune event.

We can’t all be stars but we can all twinkle at given moment.

So here is my twinkle...

Yesterday, I went to see someone I had only met very briefly who was actually begging for money to feed his family at a local Rite-Aid.  No I did not give him money, but he and my companion talked to him for more then a moment, not criticism, no "you should have done XYZ" & sent him on his way, no sucking the teeth, or "tsk, tsk, tsk, bad boy" self-righteousness.


For the record, I did not go alone to the residence  to bring food,which actually occurred 4 days after the initial meeting.


This man had just started a new job, just found a very humble place for him, his wife and teenage daughter. He struggled, as some men do, to not tear up.  I made sure I brought things that were complete & healthy, not cereal and no milk or peanut butter with no jelly. ( You get the idea).


I did it because it was the right thing to do.

Much to my surprise, I had a few people (I did not tell many) to actually criticize me for doing a humane thing.  The justifications ran the gamut of "you knows" as in  "how did you not know he was running a scam" to "there are places people like him could go", to "how you know know he wouldn't sell them for drugs"?


Well I didn't know, and it didn't matter.  Even a stray dog deserve a bone.


No one should ever ,ever be hungry no matter what we may think how he/she got there.  Even if he or she put themselves there.


What I am to do is to do my part; if he had messed up or blew it or whatever, if one is trying yet again, we help them up until they can stay up!  As that proverb goes "Fall down seven;Get up eight", we don't know if that 8 time will do the trick.


Or as the Apostle Luke stated at Luke17:3-4 "Pay attention to yourselves.  If your brother commits a sin give him a rebuke, & if he repents, forgive him. Even if he sins seven times a day against you & he comes back to you seven times saying "I repent", you must forgive him".


This man did nothing to me, I had not known that he existed until 5 days ago, but the principle is still clear.  I get the whole tough love approach that has been bullying people for over 2 decades now, but has it worked? Perhaps in a few cases, but not in most.  But folks love to use "tough love" to justify not exercising the privilege of being humane, to be compassionate.  And yet we wonder why things have gotten worse, a coarsening of society.


If a scam was ran, everytime that fork is lifted, he will be reminded that someone cared enough to help.  That just maybe, there will be a paradigm shift that 8th, 9th or 10th time will take.


I've been there, I know what it is like to not know if you will eat the next day, I know what it is like for someone who while maybe not in my presence ask the "what ifs/how do you know..." about me!  Yet there have been ones who have seen my humanity, of seeing I too, needed a second chance. at living, at contributing,as being part of the human race ...


Please note, I've never been a drug abusing, drinking, tobacco smoking anything, but you don't have to be to know hard times.  You do have to be in the wrong place at the right time for it to happen.


So did I go naively, blindly, foolishly, pell mell into being a do gooder? I doubt it, I was simply doing what was right and will continue to do that.


The rest will be up to them to carry on, but it is hard to carry on when one is hungry, in despair, cold, tired and troubled...


If that is not being grown up, then I don't want to ever grow up.  I simply want to do the right thing, at the right time for the right reason for the right person...



"Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature."~Thich Nhat Hanh

So I hope my signature continues to be good and humane...

Got-tah!

This morning I was watching on Good Morning America a brave civilian woman come to the aid of a police officer being overwhelmed by someone in what was suppose to be a routine traffic stop; a second woman who bravely came back after fleeing from a gunman who was attempting to do harm to a school board in Florida & I realized I had started to cry.


First I was very proud of these women who showed bravery when they could have simply ran & took care of themselves in the midst of danger...


Then the beginning of this poem popped in my head.  I know when a poem is coming and scattered looking for paper & pen to write it down.  What happened next was what you see below.  This is a rough draft, I may tweak, then again I may just leave it in its purest,rawest form...

Gotta
By Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney©10





Gotta know there is still goodness in the world.
Gotta know not for show
That integrity stands strong
And compassion reigns supreme
That love is divine.

I gotta know that people’s hearts are not far gone
And as monumental & as Sweet
As daring as the comet streaking across the night’s vastness being as splendid as it wants to be.
Being bold, ferocious with as much nerve it can hand out the sunshine of the Way.

I gotta know that a child’s tears
Is not from distress …
But from discovering his mommy’s eyes for the first time.
Or forced to be older then their years in fear for a world that gives no warranty in youthful joyfulness…

I gotta know that my elders are warmed from love of family
And not frozen in apprehension as in “How am I going to do it”?
And not dismissed as inconsequential or irrelevant
Or even worse treated as if they are not neither here or there
Or beside the point
By ones whose condescending eyes who wasn’t even around to envision the 7^th wonders of the world.

I gotta know a phone call brings laughter, cheer and goodwill…
Not from fear & dismay.
I gotta know somewhere in the world that some will trust as they sleep
That they will not waken to “Oh God what am I going to do”…

I gotta know when on say
“Let’s do lunch”, they mean it…
O that expressed “concern” is not thinly shrouded judgment...
That one will be connected & shown in deed, in action.
That it is in real time, not hypothetical,
Unethical...
Not ever practical.
Action that consent to one’s dignity being left intact...
Be honored; flown high…


I gotta know that hope prevails
That despair is to no avail
I gotta know a world flowing over with mercy in actions both significantly and substantially
That civility is the norm not the exception.
That dreams are meant to be dreamt, not abandoned.
Or trampled on by modern day Philistines bent on harming as they’ve been impaired
That a “Good Morning” & a “G’day” is simply that…
Good.
Not only for a privileged few.
Who greedily hold to those privileges as if there isn’t enough to go around?
Gladly trample on the vulnerable anew.

Where is that world?
In my view?
It may, you say
You, it’s all around you.
While that may be true, then it needs a mo betta P.R firm…


I just gotta know that there is still a world
There is the multitude
Not a few
Who gotta have a world?
That is just, right & true.
All rights reservedJHM12-15-10©

Be Still my Heart..Lest I should Chance©10

I was actually writing a response to a question in one of my team member this morning which spurred me to expand a little of my thoughts to her question today.  


After a second night of waking up at 3am unable to return back to sleep, I "listened" in my heart which is usually my freshest best thinking.  My first conscious thoughts in the morning when I pay attention and not rush off to others jabbering tends to be the most accurate.


My 1st thoughts today was "I don't want this any more".  Now those thoughts did not tell me exactly what "THIS" is or was, just I did not want "this" any longer.


If I know my heart well enough it will let me know in more clarity if I just be still & leave it alone so it (or me) can get to it.  


I feel sadly  about someone I thought I was getting to know a bit  over the last 4-5 months ago said something  a few days ago in a conversation we were having about their  their view about who I am , what I am about & where they think I should be.  I was a bit surprised how they came to their conclusions  as the times we have been together  have been limited, infrequent and even in that span he spent a great deal of time interrupting me, but yet he draped a conclusion that was really off base.


No I did not take his proclamations as being gospel truth (and for the record it was not all bad), in fact although skewed & racked with misinformation, I was pretty amazed that I sat & listened.  


Ok,I confess,  I was really curious what he thought...


As I reflect back on that conversation I came to my own conclusion that maybe I need to treat this person gently, but at a safer distance... His definition of me did not jibe with me.  I think his motive while he felt he was being sincere & well intended had a lot less to do with me then things he are working on himself with a wee bit of male arrogance & presumption thrown in for a garnish.


Then this morning looking somewhere else this quote caught my eye:

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Wayne Dyer .

So his defining me really was more about how he defined himself. I won't go into his background but to say he was defining his own history while he was "thought" me.


I don't know if it ever goes away this modern trend of humans who make extremely fast judgements and actually going out to reshape other people with or without their consent.


 I do know that negative views are not always a negative thing to wash away easily .   How we use it may allow a different shape or texture to emerge or we may view it with different lens which may by doing that turns a negative into a positive(?) if we want that? 


My self image isn't usually a negative one but then how do you know if something is positive if there isn't something negative to contradict it?  


What I do know  that right now in this tumultuous time, many a day I am tired, very tired and need a serious break from all the stuff that my current circumstances which is way too much like a popular series which keeps having spin offs with knowing the next spin off is getting worse, so it is time to close out the brand.


I do not want to hear by pundits, self-appointed cultural shapers, low mouth selfish blow-hards who in a more sane time be dismissed as so much wind warming the air tell me, you or who how it is to be done if you only _________" while you are drowning and they hand you a glass of tepid water  while you're crashing around in high waves.  


Ok ok I am not spinning wheels here, but I just don't see life as always being sunshine, lollipops and rainbows every second,.  You cannot have rainbows w/o rain. And night has to fall for the sunshine to appear.  And you WILL encounter jerks, naysayers, twisted people, lonely souls and lets face it mighty cruel,selfish people who sole job it appears is to remind you NOT to be like that.


Other days I am not that noble or magnanimous or brave enough to face gale force winds with my eyes focused on the prize...As that old country western song would say "it only happens in the movies..(or TV, DVDs or the Internet).


I'm not sure yet where I will go with that.  Or with this.


What I know rings true for me is when  when my synapses are firing up and I am during these middle of the night wake up, I have to do one thing well.


Be Still ...
And:

All rights Reserved JHM12-6-10©