I am a pretty groovy woman if I say so myself.
And I am not gonna do the "appropriate" thing as it is expected or conditioned for a woman to do when she acknowledges her assets by down playing, externalizing what she can do by saying "it just happened or someone is far better at doing XYZ as I" because we all know the world including the culture of women who will, in some corners, punish one with either a benign "tsk, tsk, tsk" to an outright character assassination to remind you of your place if you have the audacity of affirming yourself.
It can make some folks nervous, having audacity, as one has to have some sense of feeling & knowing being powerful to be what they are especially if they possess a uterus. And when one has not reached that point may feel uncomfortable when another does, or had it/lost it/retrieved it/lost it again even for a minute may feel they have to "tsk, tsk", I say that's ok.
However, if any reader feels they have to even in their thoughts, I say of you, save yourself the trouble of "tsking" as I've heard it before & will probably hear it again. However it will not be today or tomorrow or the day after. I cannot do much for your thoughts as that is your free-ness, just don't send it to me.
I know on good authority that the sun will still come up everyday without fail. Even if you cannot see it for a moment behind the cloud that will deflect its glow, its going to come out...
Now, despite a whole lotta shakin goin' on previously in my life, I have managed,nay actively have embraced living, indeed having a whole lot of love to share, move a few mountain, supported many a soul, laughed, made contributions to others, made a few ripples, alter some perception inclusive of an active healthy appreciation of who I am.
As Kahlil Gibran once said:
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven"?
Without a question I am flawed, however it is the cayenne pepper, the oomph that keeps me from sainthood which I do not desire or aspire to anyway. And as many a person who has known me my almost 59 years know (and still care) I have made decisions as a after thought were not the best. But no one can deny me of the fact that I at least chose to do something. And while sometimes, well, many times I feel on my very ample derriere', I got up. Sometimes I had to sit there and catch my breath or my bearings, I got up. And was able to at time sashay, saunter, strut or at times very carefully so move ahead.
In fact, just in the last few days I've enjoy an amazing amount of liberation. Knowledge is so powerful. Not only the knowledge that can be intellectual, but the kind that reaches into the very marrow of your bones. It is mighty nice, to put it nicely. Actually it is at least metaphorically speaking one of those "I wanna go to the mountaintop and scream it to the world" but shan't not because this baby is for me.
And it is a groovy kind of love.
I am good with it....
Somewhere and I know now where it happen, when I turn over the keys to my life, but now I have repossess my vehicle and in the driver's seat. And now ready to rock & roll right on over all the packaging that once was my ally and now has slowed me down.
I am a visual artist/poet, mother of 3, grandmother of 8, embarking on returning not only back to New Orleans my home, but also ready to re spark my career, my world and my identity.My sabbitical is over, I will no longer be in a self imposed exile.
I will indeed have even bigger, joy to the world totally realistic that it won't always be joyous all the time as this is not how cycles go. But that even as Anthony Robbins said recently on Good Morning America "We are in the winter right now", I have to add "spring is coming an with it rebirth, regrowth, re-sparking!
"Hard times and funky living can season the soul, true enough, but joy is the yeast that makes it rise".~Ruby Moon
Now how cool is that!