Don't Go There!

When things go wrong don't go with them~ Elvis Presley

Lifting yourself up and continuing forward

Does it ever feel like trouble follows you around and won't cut you any slack? Sometimes it feels like you can't buy a break and everything you try just makes things worse. Who could blame you for feeling sorry for yourself or not forgive a little self-destructive behavior? Bad idea. The new, healthy way to spend down times is to lift yourself up and operate at a higher level. Remember that what happens to you is not who you are. It's history. It's past. Your true self takes that history and decides how to make the best possible future out of it. You have the power to keep your attitude and values from driving into the ditch along with the events in your life. From defeat, you can still emerge victorious.

Way to Sow~Doing something extraordinary on an ordinary day

"Where the unusual occurs & miracles happen"~Dwayne Thomas MD CEO 2002 University Hospital,New Orleans, La

My story for today:

Before I had my last visit with the last part of the team I did a couple of things that pleased me to do. The people who yesterday had a change of heart after denying me access to a program that would have covered my medical expenses but in hearing my plight went above and beyond the call of duty. Because their humanity showed plainly, I decided I wanted to do something in turn for them. I gave all 3 persons a miniaturized framed piece of my art. I got to thinking how hard it must be for them on a daily basis of having to make decisions that can ultimately affect some one's health. And how they probably on more then one occasion they may have been yelled at,curse at , have someone talk about their mama for doing what they have to do (I did not yell at them, but held my ground and my position).

In fact, there were times when I had to stop mid-sentence & be still before continuing. All I could see for a moment was this opportunity being snatched from me. And then in 5 minutes everything shifted. I told the initial contact person I would not forget her...

And I didn't... So today before I had my appointment I walked in to present her, her boss & her boss' boss my art "Head in the Clouds". I am happy to say they were touched and said no one had every done something like that for them before. My response then was it was time and what a better person then me?

I am not saying this as a brag, for me it was simply good to do something for someone else even though it could have turn out badly for me yesterday. I then continued on to my appointment and got a lot of good news and also some poetic justice: First as of now all systems are go now on the surgery. And I have to brag a lil bit here, but my HDL/LDL is doing very well, no diabetes, no high cholesterol. I lost 5 pounds since last week AND my BP is 142/87. Even the GP concurred he has misjudged and notice I had a massive improvement since the last time my liver was checked in Nov and wondered what I was doing. I told him jokingly "been poor" ...

Now seriously... What has been in my control to change I have... the others well I stomp & fuss a lot, lick my wounds, stomps some more then learn how to surrender. Surrender ain't a bad thing, it means "to yield" which takes conscious, reasonable thought. And something we must concede are bigger then we are. I could not do a lot about (yet) but just like the turtle you just keeping moving steady & consistent.



I've learned to never underestimate what people can & will do or what YOU are capable of doing. Sow the seeds, water, nurture, fertilize and then watch it grow. Some times you have to deadhead so the plant keeps on blooming, sometimes you have to prune it back so it can grow and then others you have to pull it out by the roots and start anew.

As Kenny Rogers in the song The Gambler "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away...

I will spare you my attempts to sing it.

Now excuse me while I go and do a happy dance!

Confidently Yours...

Fortune favors the bold.~ Juvenal

Confidently seeking what you want most

Do you constantly feel overlooked for promotions or think that good fortune never seems to come your way? They say good things happen to good people, but have you considered that maybe good things happen to those who actively work for them? Life is not a series of random coincidences. Your lot in life is determined directly by the amount of effort you are willing to put towards the goals you want to achieve. If you want that raise, work hard and then approach your boss confidently. Many times a healthy level of assertiveness can go a long way in showing people what you're made of. Don't be afraid to let your inner hero outshine your more logical and reserved self. The return could be huge!

What a Feeling...

"I Have Lonved So Long" art All rights reservedJHM10

What reason weaves, by passion is undone.~- Alexander Pope

Do you follow what your heart craves?

As odd as it sounds, sometimes our logical minds can hold us back. Have you ever wanted to attempt a new career, run a marathon, or start your own business? Our brains might scream at us that it is safer to do what has been tried and true in the past, but don't let the fear of the unknown stop you! We all spend a lot of time worrying and little time examining the calling of our own hearts. What are you passionate about? Is there a way that you can honor these feelings in a responsible way? Trying new things can be terrifying, but following our passions can make us feel alive and become some of our most memorable moments in life. The thrill of love, the depths of grief, and the joys of a new career...all would be impossible without passion.

Can you Hear Me?

Wisdom has two parts:

1)-Having a lot to say.

2)-Not saying it.~Billboard in Vermont

The Wisdom of Listening

"One common trait to nearly every good leader is the art of listening. Many times, the best leaders can be among the quietest in the room. They know their time is well spent in hearing new perspectives, ideas, and thoughts. It's how they grow personally and build visions. The wisest leaders know that hearing themselves talk is no way to build trust and goodwill. You can do the same thing. When a friend needs to talk, resist the urge to give advice right away and just listen. Ask questions, and really try to understand the answer. When a customer calls, don't say a word about your product until you fully know their needs. When your spouse is hurting, it's not the time to prove that you were right. Over time, you can develop that leader-like sense of when to open your mouth and when to keep it clamped firmly shut".

Moon-ism:

Sometimes people are not looking for you to "fix" them or what they are experiencing, but simply to be heard. Today people really do not have the inclination, time or desire to really listen & hear people when they need to speak or be heard"...

We are such a microwaved culture that we fast forward to a conclusion and a "solution" before we even know ( or care) what we are fixing. Too often the end results is unnecessary cruelty or hurtful, impatient dimishing of a real suffering ergo far too many "let it go", "move ons" "or stop whinig" often accompanied by an impatient tone of voice or even worse tuning a person out. Then we are then surprised when we hear about a tragic suicide or someone acting out either causing harm to themselvers or God forbid to another.

Then comes the "if I had known", "maybe I should have paid more attention", etc or any other guilt laden terms to justify why we did not hear them from the beginning,which still takes attention away from the person's suffering. We should be more mindful of writing a script on someone elses' issues....

When was the last time you really paid attention to someone even when you think you've heard it all, or (from them) the same ole song? Or at least stop clicking on the keyboard for a moment to pay attention?

For the record I do not know how people think it is not being heard by phone or the occassional "uh-huh" mummuring.

People can hear you just so you know...

One that you maybe the person who needs to be heard or who then will be there for you?

Here is a great site http://www.rc.org/ with groups all over the world that can aid people if nothing else to become good listeners.

From their page:

About Re-evaluation Counseling
Re-evaluation Counseling is a process whereby people of all ages and of all backgrounds can learn how to exchange effective help with each other in order to free themselves from the effects of past distress experiences.

Re-evaluation Counseling theory provides a model of what a human being can be like in the area of his/her interaction with other human beings and his/her environment. The theory assumes that everyone is born with tremendous intellectual potential, natural zest, and lovingness, but that these qualities have become blocked and obscured in adults as the result of accumulated distress experiences (fear, hurt, loss, pain, anger, embarrassment, etc.) which begin early in our lives.

Any young person would recover from such distress spontaneously by use of the natural process of emotional discharge (crying, trembling, raging, laughing, etc.). However, this natural process is usually interfered with by well-meaning people ("Don't cry," "Be a big boy," etc.) who erroneously equate the emotional discharge (the healing of the hurt) with the hurt itself.

When adequate emotional discharge can take place, the person is freed from the rigid pattern of behavior and feeling left by the hurt. The basic loving, cooperative, intelligent, and zestful nature is then free to operate. Such a person will tend to be more effective in looking out for his or her own interests and the interests of others, and will be more capable of acting successfully against injustice.

In recovering and using the natural discharge process, two people take turns counseling and being counseled. The one acting as the counselor listens, draws the other out and permits, encourages, and assists emotional discharge. The one acting as client talks and discharges and re-evaluates. With experience and increased confidence and trust in each other, the process works better and better.

My reminder: G'wan be a Nut!

The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground.- Unknown

Believing in yourself no matter what

On July 24, 2004, there was a 0% chance of rain in Cincinnati. No way was it going to rain, according to the people who should know best. You know what? Despite millions of dollars worth of sensors, computers, and forecasting systems, the weather experts were wrong. It rained, against all odds. This is not a criticism of weather people. It's just a reminder of all the people who were given 0% chance of making it by the "experts," but who succeeded anyway. Whenever accomplishments are on the line, there are always voices whispering, preaching--even shouting--that it can't be done. Sometimes, that voice is coming from inside our own heads. If you're having doubts about your abilities, just remember: How many times have the naysayers been proven wrong? No matter what anyone says--no matter what you might believe--it can be done. The nut can become a tree. There's always a chance of rain.

On the Street

Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street.
- Grant L. Miller, motivational guru

Enjoying the road to accomplishment
www.sparkspeople.com


It's possible to be a little too focused. With blinders on, it becomes easy to completely live in our vision of where we will be in the future, while ignoring the improvements that we have made in the present. The road to a healthy lifestyle is a long trip. While it's very important to realize what we are shooting for, we also need to make sure that we keep our heads in the present to enjoy the progress we've made. If your goal is to lose weight, instead of waiting to celebrate until you lose it all, enjoy today's small victories and take advantage of your improved health now. This approach serves as motivation for any aspiration in life. Set ambitious goals and enjoy the road to accomplishing those goals, because life might pass you by if you are always planning for tomorrow without ever seeing today.

Do You Show Up?~ Sparks People

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

- Sam Ewing, humorist



A meaningful life requires hard work

Part of being a good leader and good example is holding people accountable to their promises. To reach your goals, you need to be a strong leader of yourself. That means making sure you live up to the promises you made to yourself and to others. Your goals are important to you. They'll also require some work. If you could put one person in charge of your most personal, most precious goals, would you hire someone who looks for the easy way out or just talks a good game? Or would you entrust them to the person who willingly takes action and does whatever is needed to make it happen? You can handle the job. Prove yourself trustworthy by showing up every day with your sleeves rolled up.

Is someone trying to tell me something?

Look at a man in the midst of doubt and danger and you will learn in his hour of adversity what he really is.

- Lucretius, Roman philosopher



Do you really know what you're made of?

It's easy to stay true to our values when life is sunny. But because sometimes hope disappears, options run out, and bright days can turn dark, all you can really count on to be there is your own inner strength. These low points are chances to learn what you're capable of when you refuse to be knocked down for good. You may not be able to choose your hardships or options. But you do have the power to face what you're given with high character. Trust yourself and your instincts, and your best will come forward. Think about the last time you had the choice to fold under pressure or to rise to the occasion. How might you have handled it a little differently? If there's room for improvement, what actions would have made you more proud of yourself?

Starts, End Begins with You

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

- Swedish proverb



Taking Responsibility for Your Success
We all need support from other people. Love, encouragement, words of advice and friendship will help you get through the important stages in your life. When people are in your corner, you feel like taking on any challenge. As important as help from others may be, though, it all has to start with you. If you're waiting for someone to solve your problems, or wondering when someone is "going to do something about that," you may be waiting a long time--unless you look to yourself first. Take responsibility for your own situation and think of what concrete steps you'll take today to help it. If you're going to need help, it's only fair that the person with the most at stake (you) is willing to make the most effort. When someone is pulling you out of a hole and has grasped your hand, you still must take the first step to climb out, or you're just going to be hanging there.

At Once

"We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

- Calvin Coolidge, American president



Tackling big challenges with small actions

This is a perfect illustration of tackling big challenges with small actions. It also shows the power of focus. There's a growing tendency for people to want to have it all. Not wanting to sacrifice anything, they run themselves straight into the ground--sometimes literally--only to end up frustrated, unhealthy, and tired, with nothing to show for it. What they don't realize is that you can have it all (or close to it). You just can't have it all right now. Does it feel like you're always busy, but you never seem to get anywhere? That's because when you try to do everything, you don't do anything well. Your child may force you to learn this lesson anyway. Instead of living your life all at once, try doing one thing at a time. Choose one goal and, through some small "things" every day, focus in on it until you've succeeded. During the day, put your full mind and efforts on one task at a time. You'll be much more productive (and calm) in the long run. "We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

- Calvin Coolidge, American president

Your Best Shot is yours to Do

There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either IN or you're OUT. There's no such thing as life in-between.
~ Pat Riley, basketball coach

Are You Giving Your Goals Your Best Effort?

Your dreams deserve better than a half-hearted effort. Meet your goals with a weak handshake and they'll soon be waving you goodbye. Since you probably don't want to look back on a life full of "almost made it" memories, it's time for total commitment. Leave it all on the field, don't hold anything back. Is there anything more satisfying than pouring out your entire being, straddling the cliff, reaching your total limit, then looking up and realizing that oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-I-really-did-it? And is there anything more tragic than failing and realizing you could have done more? If you feel "tuned out" of your current life, that's okay. Make your first goal to build a life that you can get "in"-to. Then don't look back. Make every day count and live purposefully, live energetically, live completely.

Un Pensee Ecrite~ a written thought

Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree.
- Richard M. Rayner, M.D.

What you really learn from hardships

"Perhaps you think this isn't very ‘positive' sounding, but I find it helps people (patients and friends) put hardship, which is inevitable, to good use," says Richard. "People can use their suffering either to gain character or become bitter. The ones who choose bitterness live a long, slow death. The ones who choose character truly live." Richard is right on the money. Happiness and sadness don't happen to us--they come from within. The story of your life will be written with or without your help. The next chapter is happening while you read this. Will you wait to see what it says later, or will you help write it?

Its the Little Things...

When eating a fruit, think of the person who planted the tree.
- Vietnamese saying

Expressing everyday gratitude

How often do you remember the people that have made little things possible for you? It's easy to take our privileges for granted. Today, be more aware of your surroundings--everything from your shirt, house, food, and car--and who has made them possible for you. Who has made it possible for you to experience such wonderful things? One way to let someone know that you truly appreciate their efforts is to send them a quick note or return the kindness in your own way.

I get a kick out of my own surprises

Cypress Trees-Lake Ponchatrain ©09JHM

Who I am really keeps surprising me.~ Poet Nikki Giovanni

What we can learn from our path to the present

Often in moments of discouragement or depression, it's easy to feel that your life is going nowhere or that change is impossible. But it's simply not true! Take a minute to think back over your life. Chances are, you'll see a lot of growth in all of your formative areas. From childish playing, to youthful impulsiveness and adult reasoning, life sure has taken you on a rollercoaster hasn't it? When you were young, someone probably asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up. If someone posed that same question to you now, what would you say? Let this reflection be an indicator of your dreams.

Think twice, speak once

If you think twice before speaking once, you will speak twice the better for it.
- William Penn

Think twice, speak once


The idea of choosing your words carefully sounds easy enough, but how many times do you end up with your foot in your mouth? Everyone can probably recall a situation where someone offended them by saying something rude or out of line.

These comments are not only embarrassing, but they can also damage relationships. Even the way you talk to yourself can be hurtful. Instead of saying "I can't," replace it with "I wish." Swap "I'm a failure" with "I didn't succeed this time." If you say the wrong thing in front of others, chances are that people will remember it. Wouldn't you prefer to be remembered for something more positive? Once you have said something out loud it cannot be taken back, and rarely can it be undone even with a tremendous amount of work.

What you can Do.

The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him no good.
~ Ann Landers


Magnifying small sacrifices

How do you treat people who cannot (or choose not to) repay you for the good things that you have done for them? Do you hold a grudge, speak ill of them, or constantly keep score? Think about a homeless man in need of a hot meal, the elderly woman who cannot open the door by herself at the store, or a lost child. Probably none of these individuals could equally compensate you for any sacrifices you make on their behalves. There remains but two choices--help or ignore. Our minds easily jump to putting them out of our minds and going about our days. But imagine the good you could do if you took a small moment of your time or the change out of your pocket. Such a small sacrifice (from your perspective of course), could have a 10-fold positive impact!