This afternoon trying to stay busy as not to cry again, I was looking through my catalog of poems trying to find one I had written 14 years ago on my other best friend Phylis who died in 2001.
I had a friend of mine who was trying to help a couple of months ago & accidently wiped out my hard drive we thought with all my manuscripts, art & poetry. Over the last few months I have painstakingly retrieved a few from various sources.
Well this afternoon I did something I had never done before and did a search on my desktop and two amazing things happen: 1. I found my manuscript, my poetry and 2 years of essays!
I've been copying them as quickly as I could when all of a sudden.. .
2. I found a poem that Karen had written back in 1982! I am sharing that with you today to honor my friend. Karen & I have done poetry readings before, she had been the voice, the narrator of my doc on Katrina. I am going to share it with her family when I put the quilt together for them...
By Karen F. Hurst ©82
When I was a child I believed I could fly
I told this to my mother who'd watch me and sigh
"Girl, you're a child, not a sparrow or a wren,"
Then she pause and say sternly, " Don't say that again"
The subject was closed, but I knew I was right.
I'd go to my room, close the door and take flight!
Later I'd tell her just how high I flew
She'd say,"You 're dreaming, dear." Ah! but I knew.
No, this is no dream, I'd cry to myself
As I flew from my bed to perch high on a shelf.
And I vovwed to myself that one day she'd see
What she thought was a bird in the sky would be me!
As I grew older, I forgot I had wings.
I was told to be "normal" to do "normal things"
The more normal I got, the more Mother smile
"You're a sensible girl, not flighty or wild
Dream dreams if you must, but to make them come true.
Be sure they make sense to those around you"
Now, thats good sound advice if you happen to be,
One who's not seen the world from the top of a tree.
But, I had tho' I knew no one'd believe
So I stayed on the ground and let my soul grieve.
I prayed tho' some day again I'd take flight
My flying now trapped inthe wings of the night.
The older I got, the more trapped I became
Like a bird who's been caught and who's wings had gone
I convinced myself I'd imagined it all.
I couldn't fly, I"d do nothing but fall
My mother was right, I didn't have wings
I confined my spirit to sensible things
I did all the things I saw others do,
And didn't know why I was so sad & blue.
Its hard to be someone you know when you're not.
Deep down within, my poor spirit fought.
The wings of my soul beat hard on the cage'I soon found myself filled with bitterness's rage!
Just as I felt that I had been beat,
My spirit hung limp with the thought of defeat.
Just as I told myself I'd fly no more
A great hand touched my cage and opened the door!
The hand held two birds, two tiny white doves,
Both given to me with a great deal of love.
They looked up at me, large eyes filled with wonder
"Teach them to fly", said a voice filled like thunder
"But humans can't fly, is what Mother said....
If we cannot fly, then we'd rather be dead".
In shock and with fear, I looked into those eyes,
"Don't say that my darlings, I'll teach you to fly!"
We went to the top of a very high hill
All the earth seemed to stop, all greww very still.
"I've not flown for years," I tried to explain.
No excuse would do. It grew very plain.
I looked into those faces and then at the sky-
"God, if you're up there, please help me to fly"
I raised heavenward and then took flight!
What a glorious feeling! A wonderful sight!
I;d never again deny my soul's needs.
The cage door was open, I knew I'd been freed!
And I heard myself say, flying into the blue,
"God does answer prayers! Dreams do come true!"
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