Saturday, December 20, 2008

Fearless & Farewells


“Some people are carbon copies. Others make their own impression”~Unknown

One thing I am learning is, while a work in progress, is to live fearlessly. And there are times when you do that that people will misjudge you, snipe, criticize while hiding behind a touchy feely but nonetheless dig. Not here, I have not seen that, but just in general people miguidely or erronously,misjudge whaen you engage your life more fully

When one ventures to speak the truth or speak with candor and conviction the hearer or the reader at times will have their own sense of your words which may have nothing to do with you, but a whole lot to do with them. Disagreeing is quite common and even more common is the nice nasty way people who may not have the gumption, the chutzpah, the "noive" to say to you "I do not agree"!

It won't hurt (much) if one does! How much freedom we could gain if people showed candor, with a dash of diplomacy & sincerity? Who would want someone around them all the time who agrees constantly? How valid would their words be to you after awhile if they never ever see anything (in their eyes) that may not be in harmony with their values or sensibilities?

Be mindful I am not talking about shock value... We see too much of that today as it is, as well as cruelty. But it is not cruel to be fair minded to be a reflecting mirror for a friend as they sort out things. There are times when I do not like what my friends tell me, but when I am quiet and alone and thinking about it, I can indeed see the truth of what they are are saying. And with that it deepened my friendship and caring for them because I know that what else may happen they will be fearless and truthful with me.

Encouragement can come in many forms and if you have any regard for the people in your life there are those times when you are indeed granting one of the best gifts and that is of being truthful. Or of being fearless enough to stand up for them.

Even if it is to them about them, or you.

Today I learned of someone I knew for a few years whose very young life was cut short from brain cancer. A lovely woman with an adoring husband who fought fearlessly to have a quality of life despite having to deal with this illness though for awhile it appeared that things were improving. After surgery a few years ago, the cancer went into remission only to reappear this year.

She fell asleep peacefully in her sleep with her husband next to her. All through her illness and even before that she was highly regarded, a tender, caring, funny woman with large beautiful eyes. But the characteristic of hers I really admire was her candor, her truthfulness and her fearlessness. Don't ask her the question if you did not want an answer!

As many have mourned her passing, I wish to honor her by being as fearless as I want to be... To speak truth to the best I am able even if or when ones want to in veiled misdirected comments to others because they do not like what you said. Sometime operating like that in sniping backfires the sniper coming across as being a tad self-righteous, as if they assume their way is the only way to encourage.

There is no right or wrong answers in this. Many will find their own way to do what they need to do that is what makes this world so fascinating to live in. We are all grown folks going about grown up business, I hope, and will have to have ownership to whatever we need to do to make a way in this world. As I am closing out some places where I no longer want to be it is all the more incumbent that I do this fearlessly. To not second guess the rightness of what I know in my heart to do. I allowed doubt and second guessing decisions to continue in places where I am no longer at. But now it will not happen again.

Now is the time...

Another wise friend said to me "use what you can (in her words) if you want & toss the rest out". I think that is smart way to think, so I offer it to you:

Use what you can (in my words) if you want & toss the rest out.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's taking a leap! I am not sure how much faith has to do with it, I imagine skill and practice a whole lot! om