"Mo' Sax" Art by Maurice Evans Check him out: athttp://www.blackartdepot.com/mauriceevans.htm
Today was a better day for me then I thought because at midnight last night I figured out something and put in to action. In part from out of the blue I got a phone call from someone on the East Coast calling me 3 am her time to talk. In the course of the conversation & her allowing me to talk out loud aided me in putting somethings in perspective that left to my own devices I would have suffered needlessly giving something far more energy then warranted.
And in talking it out loud and talking it through I clearly and relatively easily saw the answer for myself. And thus so being able to continue making my plan and making my plan work.
I will continue to do so until there is no more breath. But aim & purpose is to go beyond( which I am there I believe) now to métamorphose(transformation) I think a more active part of dreaming. As with many of us had to grow through a lot of stuff to get to that point.
I love how metamorphosis is spelled in French: métamorphose... In fact I am having it done in wall words and putting it right above my bed so I can see it every morning so I can stride into my day and into my world!
Yesterday I had something occur that was a little disappointing and I have to admit was a little hurtful. But what I was happy with was that I did not amplify it into something more then what it was. it was no more then business as usual with some who decide that I am invisible and whether I was worthwhile to pay attention to and making a decision that potentially and on a small scale changes something that I had just put in place. While I had not yet invested much in my plan, this decision basically force me to dismantle and rewrite. All based on an assumption someeone made and who had not bothered to talk to me before making that decision!
What I finally was able to put into perspective was knowing we live in a microwaved society, IM's, texting that people have been reduced to communicating in hyper-shortened "conversation. When in an emergency I could see the relevance, but now its been moved to a whole other thing jumping to very quick assumptions and making decisions that can affect someone's life that could in some cases be disastrous. And even more of a cocern is insisting the assumption is correct even when brought to your attention that it is incorrect...
Why is it that people are afraid to have real communication? And is it really important and critical that people have shortened interacting with other people. What are we afraid of? Are we that paranoid? Or we that hurt/disappointed/ an inability to share ourselves with others? It would be easy and I do think there is some validity to it that the meaness that has accelrated in "reality TV, the instant mocking of people failings, fragility, not so shining moments that people have made careers (and lots of money to boot) in a global world may have a sharing in all of this. And viewers take seeminly a delight though publicly most will deny they watch these modern day watching of gladiators/Christian martyrs being torn apart by lions in the Colisieum as entertainment like in ancient Rome.
I went off on this , but let me go back to my small example. While I was in my taking an assertive stand yesterday & while whatever decision was made for me, I unmade the decison by
1. not accepting the decision
2. informed them what action I will take.
Though the end results was the same, it was for entirely different reasons and I was proactive. There was nothing in all of this about defiance as I had not given anyone permission to make a decision for me, it was just again assumed. In fact I would suspect that there was no paying of attention to me doing this which would have been the status quo, but it wasn't being made for them. It was being made for me.
Neither was in my thinking was I asking permission or approval because there was no reason to do that, but also by not allowing myself to be unduly down about something that once upon a time would have been some great angst for me. People write their own scripts for their own plays all the time. In this case, as in others, they failed to inform me that I had to audition for the role or if I wanted to be in their play.
At then end of the day I want to be consious myself about assuming things about or for other people and if for a moment some stops and thinks before they be presumptious to do so for another to check and see if the other person wants it will help greatly.
That is what I am talking about in growing in the métamorphose .
And I like it like that...