Thursday, November 6, 2008

Inside/Out going~ full circle.

Chicago ~photograph All Rights ReservedJHM© 08

I am in this walking on air phase trusting that this adorable, albeit it small, but quaint studio apartment will be mine. The place though small is highly suited for me and my sensibilities providing me with some peace, stability surrounded by nature for a restorative period so I gather my balance and do move to the a larger plane then before.

I can identify of the irony that this place in some ways is an upgraded variation of 16 years ago when I first embarked on the phase that has concluded just this year. When I walked on air to create what is now an established art form (for me). And now 16 years later as I sep out into the air again, I am planning on moving into a similar tiny studio space with all my other trappings away from me so I will not be distracted to do what needs to be done.

Someone mentioned to me that this was a year for lessons and challenges which was an understatement. And I, too, cannot twait to see what writing comes out of it for the book. I had to see if I would step up to the plate no matter what and continue to follow what I yet could not see, through all the turns, disappointments and yes even some humor mixed in it all.

And I did. I am now in a physically geographically lovely place, still missing home but need to be here right now. The stillness is what's important, now. There is enough stimulation I can get if I want between here and Portland, but I needed to be in a space. Now.

This studio is in such a lovely peaceful place and I am surrounded by the loveliness of nature providing a calm idylic place for me to create and where I can take long walks to aid in my continuing healthy living growth. If it turns out not to be this studio there will be another.
I did not know that where I am right now was where I was suppose to be and I have met every challenge thus far sometime with great humor & aplomb other times with what in the world? And still others that should have sent me screaming into the woods, but I did not. This is where I should be for right now, but there is something in this I will get.

It reminds me of a comment someone sent to me today in regards to the time when Sister Oprah had to deal with that whole cow issues some years back and how the defense attorney yell, spat bullied accusing her of things that were not true. Then Sister O spoke of having a calmness come over her and no matter what he said, she knew it not to be true.

Likewise for me I have reached a space that no matter if people shout, scream spit stomp yell curse control or kill & it does not have to make me be what they want me to be.

They've tried, God knows they've tried, & for a split second (from time to time) they've almost had me convince they were right. They were not.

So we keep on and keep keeping on... The fact that I had challenges totally unplanned or desired tossed at me and I met them addressed them, step over them, released them tells me I can persevere in much. What a cleansing process it has been and the load is still getting lighter.

Whatever I have to do I have to do. In whatever length of time it takes to do i and in whatever manner I have it done in. People can either step up or step away.

It will be exciting to see what will transpire and how we are inspired and it is time now for all of us in whatever we endeavor, to step up to the plate...

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