Thursday, December 31, 2009

My Soul to Keep~Last Blog of 09

Jame Mokos photo

Don’t confuse your soul with your ego

Last blog for 2009

Its been a wild ride the last couple of weeks feeling somewhat agitated about a few things had to resolved, but anxiousness of how the other people would react, made me drag it out until I was forced, truly a case of serendipity, to do it.

And the results was not bad at all. Sky did not fall down; the earth did not open up and swallow me; the earth continued on its rhythms oblivious to my angst . It is needless to go into a litany of what was ailing me, I will generously spare you. I think I bended enough of my friends across the country with it to the point of not only wearing their ears out, but sick of hearing MY own voice.

And then it rung crystal clear today for me as this quote so aptly put it...

"Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street.

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny".~Unknown

It does not mean that there will be many many things or many people who will challenge you, cross you, make attempts to diminish you, but shrinking back and not being fully engaged in yourself is still YOUR (or mine) responsibility to the end.

So I did, I took the risk follow what my gut told me that I needed to do whether it was embarrassed, laughed at, questioned, criticized or even worse ignored. If what I wanted, nay needed to, do was that important,then I am woman enough to go through the thicket to get to the meadow. Or a raging storm to clear, turquoise waters.

It restoreth my soul...

Along the way you will as I did, will find some who will cheer you own. And the probability that there will be some who won't well that probablty is quite high. But at the close of the day, it will be you (or me),and you (or me) alone who have to initiate follow through, plug in dreamng so hard & so big that others might laugh at what seems to be foolishness.

And then dream some more.

Prepare for the dream to be a vision, make a plan to execute, then wait for whatever challenge will occur' cause it will as sure as the sun rises each day. And in the end exercise that faith and belief to keep on getting up when it is scary & anxious.

I struggled with my pride,my ego the last 2 weeks and had to swallow, hard, to do what I needed to do. In that internal battle, I even questioned myself if I was doing the right thing. But this was not a time for false pride nor ego or quiet as its kept,my streak of shyness. In the final analysis it indeed was about faith, about passion, about believing in the goodness of people who would see the goodness in me. And a fervent passionate belief in my own ability.

And I was not let down...

Definitely I can say I am humbled by those who care & not able to, strengthen by those who do & merciful coupled with understanding toward all others...

Robert Duvall once said
:"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil and that love true love never dies. A person should believe in these things as they are worth believing in"
So never underestimate miracle at work & from whatever it comes from...

Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" God said, "I did do something. I made you." ~Author Unknown

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