A Man Named Pearl Coming to New Orleans!

If you are in the New Orleans area, you must come & see this extraordinary man speak. Otherwise search out the documentary "A Man Named Pearl". It is the most warming,restorative story of the human spirit & artistry.

He will appear on CBS affiliate WWL-4 Thursday morning

SELF-TAUGHT TOPIARY ARTIST PEARL FRYAR
Fryar to Speak on a Panel with Leah Chase and Edward "Kidd" Jordan

When Pearl Fryar and his wife sought to buy a house in an all-white neighborhood of Bishopville, SC, they were discouraged with the explanation that "Black people don't keep up their yards."

Remarkably, instead of fueling bitterness and anger, this comment motivated Pearl to win the Bishopville "Yard of the Month Award," and eventually to transform his ordinary suburban yard into a horticultural wonderland.

The garden's topiary centerpiece emblazons both its message and Pearl's own philosophy: "Love, Peace, and Goodwill."

Schedule:

What: "An Evening with Pearl Fryar"
When: 5:30p Thursday Oct 14th
Where: Longue Vue's Playhouse
Cost: $10 Suggested Donation

On Friday October 15th

What: A Man Named Pearl Screening

When: 9am, Friday, Oct 15th
Where: Dilliard University Lawless Chapel
Cost: Free


Topiary Sculpture Demonstration by Pearl Fryar
10:15am

Dilliard Lawless Chapel
Free to Public; 1st come 1st served

Panel Discussion with Pearl Fryar, Leah Chase & Edward "Kidd" Jordan
For more information, contact Hilaririe Schackai at 504 488 5488,ext 401 or hschackai@longuevue.com

There's dumb, then there's dumber..

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions. They are easier to handle than dumb mistakes.~Unknown

Many people ask the wrong questions, which can hinder their work. That's why it is so important to ask the right questions--to get the right answers! Everyone fears looking stupid in front of other people. No one wants to ask a silly question and get laughed at. But not asking a question that needs an answer can have consequences that might be just as embarrassing or detrimental. If you're thinking about it, chances are that someone else is curious too. Your own fears can paralyze you, but deep down if the shoe were on the other foot, you probably wouldn't make fun of someone else for asking questions. Don't take the hard way and suffer through mistakes, speak up and clear up any confusion!

Way to Glow~Simple Act to Move a Mountain

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves."~ Dale Carnegie

I woke up this morning right about the same time when people in the hospital would have been flipping on lights,banging in your rooms, take blood pressure readings after waiting you up out of a dead sleep while I was in the hospital. After nearly 2 weeks of daily interrupted sleep, my body now is trying to find itself back into a more peaceful undisturbed restorative slumber.

I was thinking of someone, a certified nursing assistant that did a very small act for me, that touched my heart, restored dignity and respected my humanity. While it is a routine and simple thing that we do everyday, her act actually went deeper for me in restoring the hearth on the way to wellness.

She bathe me.

Yup, that simple.

When I was too weak, bewildered, overwhelmed, hurting feeling like part of a cattle herd being force down the chute for branding I was having difficulty caring , not my hygiene, but just the simple act of standing upright let along walking to the bathroom.

This sweetheart after making my bed with fresh sheets, bringing me water etc, brought in warm water and proceed to sponge bathe me.

One of the 1st things I thought is how overly sexualized our culture is that people would be shocked of one woman bathing another with other hints being tossed in, but it was not like that.

In other cases, people have become so alienated from one another, more often with very valid reasons, souls that have become fractured or shattered when a touch becomes some to fear or to hurt or someone control that we have forgotten or become unused to "caring without suffering attached to it.

People intellectualize or depersonalize "loving" people not in IRL, but at safe distances, losing out on our common humanity, "sharing" in Farmville sharing faux food instead of breaking bread in real life, in real time with people we know face on.

People go to such elaborate means to "care" only while it is abstract, at a distance and not have to really do anything. We have come to a point I thnk, in our collective mind, have absolutely lost our collective mind, seem to have lost our way over the simplest things that could make a difference.

For real...

In real time.

This nurse had no hidden agenda... It had nothing to do with "OMG a woman touched me!" but definitely of one tending to the sick & the needy.

I thought to myself, it is the 1st time since I was a baby since someone did something like that to me & tears welled up. It was comforting and it made me feel stronger.

I thought about that TV miniseries from a couple of decades ago "The Women of Brewster Place" starring Oprah Winfrey & a exceptional cast of actors. In the one scene after a young woman, played beautifully by actor Lynn Moody, lost her baby and while she she was almost comatose from grief a scene showed Ms Winfrey in character, bathing this young woman and she wept & wept & wept seems like forever.

The loving act was comforting allowing the woman to render her grief without having to do anything else, but grieve.

This was a lot like that for me.,

As I fell ,weakened, back in bed feeling so much better although weak, I thank her for what she had done and her response was she was simply doing her job. I told her it was more then that & that I bet she took really good care of her mama. She smiled and said she did indeed loved her mama. My thoughts was you could tell with all the tenderness she took care for me who was about the age of her mama but a total stranger.

I won't forget her easily and what she did for me...

We a re a composite, bits and pieces or a dizzying array of experiences emotions, living. everything we do can indeed affect in large or small ways other parts of our health.

When we care for all, we care for the one & the one will care for the all.

Way for me to Know~All the ways Healing takes Place

Blooming Basil 9-6-10 All rights reserved JHM

There are many who do not know I had an emergency hospital emergency 8 day stay with a 2nd surgery August 27th following a previous surgery stay August 11th. The second surgery came out of the blue while I was recuperating from the 1st surgery. I am ok home resting, weaken, but thankfully managing to survive 2 surgeries in 3 1/2 weeks!

Needless to say it has run a major curve for me the next few weeks. But I am here and I am healing! Which brings me to this story...


Today I had two unexpected visitors both bringing unexpected gifts. Funny thing in their way these two women brought me exactly what I needed for the day, their time attention & love.

While not knowing one another are very similar in personality and close in age (66 & 68) The 68 year old is very scattered brain, but huge heart, very passionate about New Orleans spending time before coming up my way helping others use Labor Day (how appropriately) to mow down all the high weeds & grass in a part of the Lower 9th Ward putting their time not talk into the community, health food,/organic living. She taught in Berkley on the reservations for a number of years, very hippie-ish and a very vocal advocate. Just really scattered, I tease her calling her Mrs. Magoo as driving with her is an experience.

. Anyway she went our local store and brought me lots of fresh fruit, some jambalaya (with shrimp only) a couple of newspapers & her company.

The 66 year old clean up my kitchen swept my floor, took out my garbage and visited. She also is very scattered, loud, unrefined but heart as big as all out doors. I was so tickled when she went to take out my garbage she out it in my compost because all the other times she came I gave her my compost bag to dispose so she thought this was going there too. She had never seen a compost or a organic garden before, very prim & proper knows very little about community activism, but can be verrrry vocal about ppl abusing the neighborhood.

But I watched her as she swept up my porch, bringing in all my clippings to go into my bag for my compost. (hmm maybe she's learning?) While I tried to figure out her cell phone as she knows nothing but the basics (on & off).

Shows you 60-something can be very eclectic eh?

And they are here for me as I am for them in ways that cannot always be measured. And while there are those days their collective scattering may send me up the wall, I KNOW they will be with me when the chips are down...


So now I tire and will lay down for awhile & thankful for this day.

Way to Mold~Rock this Moon

"A positive attitude may not solve all your
problems, but it will annoy enough people that it will be worth the
effort"~H.Albright

It is official...

I have now entered the ranks of an elder and THIS moon has prepared to rock the moon!

I do indeed feel different. No it is not euphoria of it being the day I was born,. In fact I have a poster ai had done awhile back from a company where they will go back to the day of your birth + the city you were born in and show you where the moon, the stars and the earth was on the day of your birth, at that precise moment.

My poster reads"She rocks from the day she was born" ...

How appropos! And how funny it was a waxing crescent moon on that date. It amuses me so.

I feel more at peace,or maybe I feel more ME right now. Feeling full with the promise & the possibilities that this 6th decade will yield. And I am not naive to believe there will be the bumps in the roads, people who will not act right coming along the way, I just know that I will be just fine despite them. They will be who they are, I will be who I am...

For those who have yet to each this stage know that it is nothing to dread... It feels really cool.

I am pumped and ready to roll!

Early tomorrow I will probably submit my last post as I will be offline for several days. Those of you who I have been honored with you reading my blogs know I will be having surgery, the 1st move toward rocking the moon.

I love this quote by Bob Marley: ‎'The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for". ~Bob Marley

Way to Sow~Doing something extraordinary on an ordinary day

"Where the unusual occurs & miracles happen"~Dwayne Thomas MD CEO 2002 University Hospital,New Orleans, La

My story for today:

Before I had my last visit with the last part of the team I did a couple of things that pleased me to do. The people who yesterday had a change of heart after denying me access to a program that would have covered my medical expenses but in hearing my plight went above and beyond the call of duty. Because their humanity showed plainly, I decided I wanted to do something in turn for them. I gave all 3 persons a miniaturized framed piece of my art. I got to thinking how hard it must be for them on a daily basis of having to make decisions that can ultimately affect some one's health. And how they probably on more then one occasion they may have been yelled at,curse at , have someone talk about their mama for doing what they have to do (I did not yell at them, but held my ground and my position).

In fact, there were times when I had to stop mid-sentence & be still before continuing. All I could see for a moment was this opportunity being snatched from me. And then in 5 minutes everything shifted. I told the initial contact person I would not forget her...

And I didn't... So today before I had my appointment I walked in to present her, her boss & her boss' boss my art "Head in the Clouds". I am happy to say they were touched and said no one had every done something like that for them before. My response then was it was time and what a better person then me?

I am not saying this as a brag, for me it was simply good to do something for someone else even though it could have turn out badly for me yesterday. I then continued on to my appointment and got a lot of good news and also some poetic justice: First as of now all systems are go now on the surgery. And I have to brag a lil bit here, but my HDL/LDL is doing very well, no diabetes, no high cholesterol. I lost 5 pounds since last week AND my BP is 142/87. Even the GP concurred he has misjudged and notice I had a massive improvement since the last time my liver was checked in Nov and wondered what I was doing. I told him jokingly "been poor" ...

Now seriously... What has been in my control to change I have... the others well I stomp & fuss a lot, lick my wounds, stomps some more then learn how to surrender. Surrender ain't a bad thing, it means "to yield" which takes conscious, reasonable thought. And something we must concede are bigger then we are. I could not do a lot about (yet) but just like the turtle you just keeping moving steady & consistent.



I've learned to never underestimate what people can & will do or what YOU are capable of doing. Sow the seeds, water, nurture, fertilize and then watch it grow. Some times you have to deadhead so the plant keeps on blooming, sometimes you have to prune it back so it can grow and then others you have to pull it out by the roots and start anew.

As Kenny Rogers in the song The Gambler "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away...

I will spare you my attempts to sing it.

Now excuse me while I go and do a happy dance!

Way to (not) Fold~

" Comfort & prosperity have never enriched the world as mush as adversity has. Out of pain & problems has come the sweetest songs & the most gripping stories"~ Billy Graham


Then Mr. Graham I must be Mighty Mouse :=)


As I down in countdown mode for my pending surgery on August 11th & have been running to the hospital everyday for more pre-opt testing, I've had a lot of time sitting there observing other people and looking at myself in all of this.

I've gotten a LOT of "aren't you afraid?" to "how is your spirit today" to even being called by people who have not been exactly supportive or not believing the serious of my condition the last 2 years thinking "if she would ONLY lose some weight" etc when my issue for this surgery is NOT about my weight.

I suspect in some cases their may be some guilt or wanting to have a conscience cleared just in case... (just in case what?).

Because (I am thankful for this) I have a pretty intact, hard-earned level of self esteem, some see me as being without feelings or wanting for a moment to rest or have someone take care of ME for a change, which hasn't exactly been forthcoming. Yes I am strong but I am also very human with all the accompanying emotions.

Am I scared? What I would fear more is NOT having the surgery! My body will not withstand much more of where I a right now. For those who may not know I am NOT having batriatic surgery.

I have a very distended hernia that has been the bane of my existence. It has badly encroached on my other organs . It is most definitely not " just a hernia"

Back to topic:

Well I haven't exactly had the time to be afraid as I scurry fro one thing after another prepping for when I come home since I have little to no help available and I have to be able to function as if I do not.

I cannot afford to come home from major surgery and not be able to care for my basic needs as I recuperate let along any of the normal things that has to continue to be done. When things like this occurred I am very focused and so do know how to prioritize.

I do not have the energy or time to look to the right or to the left, so fear cannot be part of the program..Not now & perhaps not later. But it would be so nice to be cared for, but I have to take care of what I know needs to be done especially when you are operating from air, wish & a prayer.

Trust me when I say I absolutely will let things fold on the wayside as I heal...

I do indeed have a few people with offers.

One of my neighbors will care for my veggie & flower gardens while I am recoup-ping. Another friend who is coming to be with me the day of my surgery to advocate for me if something happens while I am unconscious. Another who will pick up my mail and another who will drive me to the hospital and bring me home afterward when they discharge me.

Still another not in the area who have stepped up paying my utility bills so I can have access to the outside world while I am still w/o income. Still yet, a few total strangers who have aided me the last few days at the hospital intervening when bureaucratic errors threatened my surgery with a cancellation.

Sometimes money is not required, just a little TLC & recognition of one's humanity is in order.

I am strong but not impervious to hesitation or angst. I am not concrete although unfortunately, some people think if you have emotional & spiritual strength somehow translate to unfeeling or being like concrete.

However it is to the contrary.

I have to trust people who I do not know from the surgeon to the anesthesiologist, to the nurse or the orderly to do their job well. I have to trust many people who are links to my health & well being that they will do their utmost to care for me at a time when I cannot care for myself.

And I have to trust (and I do) that all will be well in the final analysis...

...Now I just to have make sure that my laundry is done and my bed is prep to receive me the day I come home from the hospital... (Moon scribbles on her to do list)

I am looking forward to being able to stand upright and being able to resume walking (well) in a few weeks.

I am looking forward to being able to really handle my cause & care but personally & professionally without impediments.

I am looking forward to being able to put my shoes on w/o it being a major undertaking.

Of being able to laugh w/o having to hold my stomach because it hurts to much.

To be able to sit up and create without it physically hurting me.

To be able to viable in every sense.

As I have said the alternatives w/o the surgery is what I would be more afraid of. I am not looking forward to being alone in this though I won't be completely alone.

I expect I will have a moment of fear when it is time to roll me into the room, but I am expecting the cute surgeon with the great green eyes to be good at what he does & I will be just fine.