Thursday, March 31, 2011

If it Doesn't Fit.. You must Remit

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.~-- Maya Angelou 


Looking through the Window in the Mill -ECO Village at Sabres in the Landes France ~Photographer Jackie Walker 

Ok y'all I am getting ready to do some serious "cyber kicking booty" today! I was writing something to a group of  amazing friends today when something struck me that was said which I've heard many a day from many a person and that is in regard to when things go bad people will beat themselves up for having a "pity party". 

As I am reading I am wondering so what in the world is wrong with a pity party? 


Noun: The feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others. 

par·ty: A group of people who have gathered to participate in an activity. ... 

re·mit: Verb: Cancel or refrain from exacting or inflicting (a debt or punishment) 

I know having any sense of anything but a keep a stiff upper lip is reminescent of the Christian-Puritan pull yourself up by your bootstraps there are people who have it worst then you  hysterical background of the U.S. but c'mon now.  People get rewarded somehow no matter how perverse it is if we suffer but suffer silently, don't bother me by showing your grief.  If we cannot be kind, merciful and yes pitied our circumstance how on earth can we show it for anyone else? 

Shucks, man if I had that kind of pain, anxiety & sorrow that some deal with I would have a massive blow out of a party. It is a painful, no pun intended, that some circumstances are so horrendous for some that anyone of us under the same situation would go running screaming into the woods. 

Each one of us have our own challenges that we have to contend with each and everyday.  Some are so awesome it would take one's breath away.   I am always encouraged & excited when I see or read of each and everyone of you as you find a way to manage to have some sort of a life each and every day! 

Whether perfect or ideal, don't matter, you are living! Your humanity shows!

Having compassion is important. 

And its legal... 

And its alright...

And should be done, regularly...
It is pity with power and who better to empower yourself but yourself? And sometimes that means g'wan and have that party, have that sorrow, blow it out big time , then put it away, clean up and get up! 

I was thinking the other night as I was in my bed in my new place & thinking "wow I am now a year with no discernable income how on earth did this happened? How on earth did I managed to survive not knowing from one day to the next how I am going to do it? How on earth did I make it through a year"? 

But I did. 

And before I could feel badly, I realized I have been held up mightily with strength beyond what is normal , not of my own design... I am in awe and gratfeul for big and small, people who have stepped up to the plate in many ways & held me up; not knowing where I would be right now if I had not continued and persisted. 

No by no shape am I out of the woods. I cannot even tell you what will happened next day let along next week. I just have to be like Celie (from the Color Purple) when she said to Nettie: 

"I don't know how to fight back. I know how to stay alive". 

Pond- ECO Village at Sabres in the Landes France ~Photographer Jackie Walker 

In essence that is all that everyone of us is doing. 

Now then, if it doesn't fit, we must remit! 

Whatever it takes to not give something or someone more power then they earn in your life.   Give it the exit strategy, let it go wherever it need to go, just not flow with you.  It ain't easy, brother. It will hurt, lots. Some days you wil be far more magnanimous about things then others, some days you will want to scream to high heavens. But everything has a beginning & an end. It has already begun but now you have to wait for the end. 

I think we have to have a pity party once in awhile. Having pity is not a bad thing, people need to find ways to have more compassion (pity). We are not talking about being self-indulgent; we know what that looks like, but even if we indulge for a moment to be kind to ourselves and what we are dealing with so be it! 

Let it be.... 

I will say again at the end of the day, this too , I promise you, will pass. What is that song George Benson used to do "everything must change/nothing stays the same"...

So let us remit: 1.To refrain from exacting (a tax or penalty, for example); cancel.
b. To pardon; forgive: 

3. To restore to a former condition or position. 
Orchid~Photography by Mark Gilbreath 

"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it". ~Author Unknown

1 comment:

Linda said...

Good Post.

Sometime reality is a little tough. I think it's better to acknowledge the sadness, have the pity party, and then it is time to regroup and move on.

Linda in Winnipeg