My Soul to Keep~Last Blog of 09

Jame Mokos photo

Don’t confuse your soul with your ego~Unknown


Last blog for 2009

Its been a wild ride the last couple of weeks feeling somewhat agitated about a few things had to resolved, but anxiousness of how the other people would react, made me drag it out until I was forced, truly a case of serendipity, to do it.

And the results was not bad at all. Sky did not fall down; the earth did not open up and swallow me; the earth continued on its rhythms oblivious to my angst . It is needless to go into a litany of what was ailing me, I will generously spare you. I think I bended enough of my friends across the country with it to the point of not only wearing their ears out, but sick of hearing MY own voice.

And then it rung crystal clear today for me as this quote so aptly put it...

"Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street.

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny".~Unknown

It does not mean that there will be many many things or many people who will challenge you, cross you, make attempts to diminish you, but shrinking back and not being fully engaged in yourself is still YOUR (or mine) responsibility to the end.

So I did, I took the risk follow what my gut told me that I needed to do whether it was embarrassed, laughed at, questioned, criticized or even worse ignored. If what I wanted, nay needed to, do was that important,then I am woman enough to go through the thicket to get to the meadow. Or a raging storm to clear, turquoise waters.

It restoreth my soul...

Along the way you will as I did, will find some who will cheer you own. And the probability that there will be some who won't well that probablty is quite high. But at the close of the day, it will be you (or me),and you (or me) alone who have to initiate follow through, plug in dreamng so hard & so big that others might laugh at what seems to be foolishness.

And then dream some more.

Prepare for the dream to be a vision, make a plan to execute, then wait for whatever challenge will occur' cause it will as sure as the sun rises each day. And in the end exercise that faith and belief to keep on getting up when it is scary & anxious.

I struggled with my pride,my ego the last 2 weeks and had to swallow, hard, to do what I needed to do. In that internal battle, I even questioned myself if I was doing the right thing. But this was not a time for false pride nor ego or quiet as its kept,my streak of shyness. In the final analysis it indeed was about faith, about passion, about believing in the goodness of people who would see the goodness in me. And a fervent passionate belief in my own ability.

And I was not let down...

Definitely I can say I am humbled by those who care & not able to, strengthen by those who do & merciful coupled with understanding toward all others...

Robert Duvall once said

:"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil and that love true love never dies. A person should believe in these things as they are worth believing in"

So never underestimate miracle at work & from whatever it comes from...

Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" God said, "I did do something. I made you." ~Author Unknown

It Dawned on me to share these words~Not of my Own

"Break" Photography by JHM ©09

Something we were withholding made us weak, until we found it was ourselves.

- Robert Frost



Who is standing in your way?

Imagine someone regularly tying small weights around your ankles as you try to climb a mountain. Doesn't sound fair, does it? But that's exactly what you can do to yourself, a little bit at a time, if you don't watch out. When you think of who and what is standing in the way of your dreams, it's easy to forget your own responsibility. Even the best of us can be guilty of unknowingly hurting our own progress. Procrastination, lateness, being disorganized, pessimism, not being honest with yourself, severe self-criticism, downplaying achievements, focusing only on weaknesses while ignoring strengths, keeping goals a secret, demanding perfection, giving up after a small setback--these are all ways you can make it tough to be (and do) your best. Smart systems, the right attitude, and a promise to keep going no matter what will make a world of difference.

On the eve of the Beginnng of the Last Year of the 1st Decade of the 21st Century

Sent to me by another artst. A gem in the NY Times:





A Final Word
By Illegal ART

What did you leave unsaid this year? A goodbye? A comeback? A revelatory thought?
...words remind us of things we should have said, but didn't, and maybe things we said, but now regret.
They also remind us that with a new year only hours away, there's still time to get in an important last word before the clock stricks midnight. "

I said way too much this year and way too little.
I wish I had told my late brother in law that I loved him, more often.
I wish even more that I had shown it.
To the people who I was rigid with or unforgiving, I wish I had been kinder.
I have been forgiven much and welcome back into many folds. I wish I had had courage and grace enough to to do the same for others.
In the new year I will do better.
Life is short and it can be so sweet if we make it that way.
Create your own reality.
Forgive more, tell people you love them more. Then show them.
I thank all my Spirit Mothers and Spirit sisters and my Mom for life and loving me.
I thank my children for growing into wonderful adults and for loving me, when I am less than perfect.
Fly free of regret, by lettting go or healing a hurt if you can.
There is only love..
We still have 11 hours.
Aiming High on into 2010

Out of want~ Its the littlle things that can make a difference!

I wish I could have thought of this. Not my words,but they sure was reading my mind!


For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. For want of the shoe, the horse was lost. For want of the horse, the rider was lost. For want of the rider, the battle was lost. For want of the battle, the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail!

~ Old English rhyme



Your smallest actions add up to something big

Everything you do makes a difference. Even if you're not on the front lines leading the effort, you have a contribution to make. Without your contribution, no matter how small, so many other things would never happen. The world needs what you have to offer. You have no idea how the simplest of your everyday actions can effect your child, and even people you've never met. Chances are, you'll never know. But if you're looking for a purpose to work toward, all you need is the desire and the right perspective. Define yourself as your task, and that's all you'll ever be. Define yourself as your contribution to your family, and suddenly you're a very important part of a bigger picture. The biggest pictures are the ones where there's room for everyone to be seen.
www.sparkspeople.com

Stargazer

And the Stargazer Waits
By Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney ©09


And the stargazer waits
Holding in a moon laced courtyard sometimes with hilarity, elation.
Raring to go/ wrapping up a recollection/ not yet/ invented by me
As I bumble & stumble along…
Looking for that right spot for me to come to my senses
And the stargazer waits uncomplaining in the not too far away time for me to draw closer to the come hither issue from quite some time ago…
And the stargazer waits
Even if I paint the wrong key she bestow upon me a microscopic wink.
That it will be there in its entire splendor as methinks
All rights reservedJHM4-8-09©

If You Were Leave to Me..

If you were to leave me (orignal)
By Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney ©08



You remind me of a sunrise," I said on the day my eyes fell on your face.
And your name becomes my mouth,
Feeling like chilled honeydew melon on parched lips
While Santa Ana winds carried on all around me.
That I be in the right place, you to me & I to you & you to thee…
I am as here as I could be gift wrapped by your words,
And a dressing gown of your voice and draped in your smile.
If you were to go away right now it would be like the air stopped at half past not anything
If you were to leave me now I would be like Shakespeare’s
To be or not to be that is the question whirling on the Ferris wheel
If your were to leave me now all I would have is
A melody of silenced stringed notes…,
A cosmic symphony of no mores
That would have an audience of one
Though you may never know of how I deeply I loved you…
I vowed I would never forget you
Though your name had been quieted by time
Jubal…
This is what I remembered of love to be like at 16.
All rights reservedJHM912-08©

Visual poetry; A feast for the Eyes & Ears...

I am loving this tonight:




Alone

By Dr. Maya Angelou

Lying, chinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Reflectiing: An unexpected gift from an Unexpected Source...

I was very pleased today in receiving 2 beautifully hand made cards from 2 people on opposite sides of the country. And then a visit from another artist and a hilarously good time phone call from another long time friend who I will be seeing in her 1st ever trip to N.O ever in 3 weeks.

To say I was happy is an understatement about today. I am an extrovert & love company & love interactng with artists, even when we are not talking about art. My oddest moment,though, was an unexpected knock at the door. It was from an neighbor who had not, along with his family, been the most neighborly person over the last several weeks.

He came bearing a lovely poster celebrating Essence 10th Anniversary in NewOrleans that he said felt exemplified what he saw as my style.

And he was dead on right...

I think the artist may be Charles Bibbs or LaShaun Beal. If any reader is from New Orleans,or attended Essence n 2004, who was the artist who did Essence 10th anniversary poster for 04?

More importantly in his own clumsy way, I suspect he was trying to make amends for the behavior of him & his family since I've moved in the neighborhood. He is aware I am moving out of the neighborhood shortly & I take that it was by way an apology.

I would have preferred a change in the actions that brought it to this (the move), but I squeal with delight over the poster which seemed to please him. It was indeed a lovely gesture as well as my response to this unexpected gift.

Just go to show we just will never completely figure out human beings and maybe it just as well.

It keeps life interesting, eh?

Invitaton poem

beautiful poem...





Mountaindreaming
by Oriah Mountan Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.



© Mountaindreaming, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999 All rights reserved

I Get By with Some Help from My Friends...

Yesterday, I had 2 separate opportunities to converse with 2 sisterfrends on opposite sides of the U.S.

And the second one was a renewal of someone who had not seen or spoken to in several years. It was not that we had any problems with one another, just time, circumstances and busy stuff got in the way.

We fell in together as time melted away picking up a familiar rhythm from times of yore. I commented to her of the ones who have re-entered my life from a not to distance past that I'm happy to see again. in fact, she gift me wth a qote: "Between rocks & these hard places, I am makng diamonds". A right on spot at a moment I needed to hear it.

I also have been to connecting with my best friend from high school who I was delighted to tell her today what I did not know in 1964 & that she was my Nettie (from the Color Purple) when we were both 14. Much to my suprise she told me she used to call me Jackie O (in 1964 she wold have been Jackie Kennedy) that I had style even then...And here I thought of myself as this shy, skinny nobody wanted to be around me teenager...

Having friends near and far is something to not take lightly as they are your living breathing "her-story". I cringe when I hear yong(er)women say they do not get along with other "females". Or do not trust them or limit their tme or heart with other women. Not "females" but real flesh & blood walking recordings of your life, your phases, your growth.

To deny yourself the richness of that experience is sad & a loss not easy to retrieve.
Try to get by without help from your friends and see how empty your life will be.You will get by, yes, but s that what yo want to settle for?

As the Beatles sing: " What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not o sing out of key

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love"

I'm gonna try with a lil help from my friends...

Then there was you...

Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" God said, "I did do something. I made you." ~Author Unknown

Do You Show Up?~ Sparks People

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

- Sam Ewing, humorist



A meaningful life requires hard work

Part of being a good leader and good example is holding people accountable to their promises. To reach your goals, you need to be a strong leader of yourself. That means making sure you live up to the promises you made to yourself and to others. Your goals are important to you. They'll also require some work. If you could put one person in charge of your most personal, most precious goals, would you hire someone who looks for the easy way out or just talks a good game? Or would you entrust them to the person who willingly takes action and does whatever is needed to make it happen? You can handle the job. Prove yourself trustworthy by showing up every day with your sleeves rolled up.

Change Your Thinking

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.


His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.

Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Is someone trying to tell me something?

Look at a man in the midst of doubt and danger and you will learn in his hour of adversity what he really is.

- Lucretius, Roman philosopher



Do you really know what you're made of?

It's easy to stay true to our values when life is sunny. But because sometimes hope disappears, options run out, and bright days can turn dark, all you can really count on to be there is your own inner strength. These low points are chances to learn what you're capable of when you refuse to be knocked down for good. You may not be able to choose your hardships or options. But you do have the power to face what you're given with high character. Trust yourself and your instincts, and your best will come forward. Think about the last time you had the choice to fold under pressure or to rise to the occasion. How might you have handled it a little differently? If there's room for improvement, what actions would have made you more proud of yourself?

Starts, End Begins with You

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

- Swedish proverb



Taking Responsibility for Your Success
We all need support from other people. Love, encouragement, words of advice and friendship will help you get through the important stages in your life. When people are in your corner, you feel like taking on any challenge. As important as help from others may be, though, it all has to start with you. If you're waiting for someone to solve your problems, or wondering when someone is "going to do something about that," you may be waiting a long time--unless you look to yourself first. Take responsibility for your own situation and think of what concrete steps you'll take today to help it. If you're going to need help, it's only fair that the person with the most at stake (you) is willing to make the most effort. When someone is pulling you out of a hole and has grasped your hand, you still must take the first step to climb out, or you're just going to be hanging there.

At Once

"We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

- Calvin Coolidge, American president



Tackling big challenges with small actions

This is a perfect illustration of tackling big challenges with small actions. It also shows the power of focus. There's a growing tendency for people to want to have it all. Not wanting to sacrifice anything, they run themselves straight into the ground--sometimes literally--only to end up frustrated, unhealthy, and tired, with nothing to show for it. What they don't realize is that you can have it all (or close to it). You just can't have it all right now. Does it feel like you're always busy, but you never seem to get anywhere? That's because when you try to do everything, you don't do anything well. Your child may force you to learn this lesson anyway. Instead of living your life all at once, try doing one thing at a time. Choose one goal and, through some small "things" every day, focus in on it until you've succeeded. During the day, put your full mind and efforts on one task at a time. You'll be much more productive (and calm) in the long run. "We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

- Calvin Coolidge, American president

When things go wrong don't go with them.

- Elvis Presley, rock



Lifting yourself up and continuing forward

Does it ever feel like trouble follows you around and won't cut you any slack? Sometimes it feels like you can't buy a break and everything you try just makes things worse. Who could blame you for feeling sorry for yourself or not forgive a little self-destructive behavior? Bad idea. The new, healthy way to spend down times is to lift yourself up and operate at a higher level. Remember that what happens to you is not who you are. It's history. It's past. Your true self takes that history and decides how to make the best possible future out of it. You have the power to keep your attitude and values from driving into the ditch along with the events in your life. From defeat, you can still emerge victorious.

No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer



Finding fault with everything you see

We all know people who just like to complain. It seems that no matter how good they have it, they're always spreading negative energy. Even the best, most painstaking listener can have trouble with someone who finds fault with everything around them. You can shine even in the worst situations if your character is strong. If you're starting to see the "dark side" too often and find yourself blaming your circumstances on other people, take another look. If you think a change of scenery will solve all your problems, think again. Change can be good. Moving on to new things can be an exciting chance to stretch yourself and break a rut. But it's important to start with yourself when you're finding things to improve. No matter where you live, work or play, the only constant is you. You can't escape yourself. Change on the outside will have no effect on your happiness or fulfillment unless you change on the inside, too.

The palest ink is better than the best memory.

- Chinese Proverb



Do you have a recorded history?

The secret to reaching your goals may rest in the written word. Writing is a common theme through every stage of successful goal achievement. The act of writing creates a promise, and having that visual promise in front of you every day won't let you forget it. Got a problem remembering what goals you met last week? Start tracking them on a daily basis. No more guessing and fooling yourself. The only way to get a really accurate picture of your progress is to record what you've done when you do it. Got something to say or a breakthrough to announce? Write it in a journal. Journals can show you what works and what doesn't. And the stories of your success can be great motivators in the future, right when you need help the most. From pregnancy start to pregnancy finish, you can help your memory and your goals by putting ink to paper. It can make up for fading memory and keep motivation from fading at all

To Be Real

To Be Real
By Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney 09©

What will be left, if we do not see
A necessity
To put our faces real
In a world who thus far
Leans away
With feet of clay
(all will say)
Tell tale, varnished lies,
That we sell ourselves
We knew all along
What we’ve been doing is wrong
And all along
We know it does not work
But we continue to reel
In the stress & strife
With perverted delight
And call it life
Although its all a sham
Yes m’aam
Fooloishly chasing
(man oh man)
A scripted, faux reality
And we kneel
To something that is not real
All the time resistng
The Source of all life
We can carry on … do less
Or give rise to our best
To be real
For it is the deal
All right reserved JHM12-13-09©

Taking Rocks..Bulding Castles

Taking Rocks and Building Castles


“The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke”.~ W.J. Camero


This has been a mad, touch crazy, crazy year, filled with much befuzzlement, bewilderment and bewailing. And of course the year has to go out in a bang with the rug being pulled out from underneath me for the last time by George!
It is not an easy thing for me to reach out like this in such a public way & f I had alternatives that have not already been explored & were feasible, I would not be doing this now if there was an alternative I would have done It. Yes many are in dire straits working furiously to finding creative solutions, thinking out of the box, to make it happen.
Like others, I am being proactive as in this Polish proverb:” You cannot wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time”, to making my challenge a resolved reality.

My prayer in reaching out with hope & determination, anyone or a group of someone’s would see fit to help or reach out into their networks to help… My circumstances is fixable and can give me the necessary boost so I can indeed help myself and then stable reach out & help someone else.
So this is what is happening:

Thrown Stones... Building Castles fundraiser

I am throwing a "cyber- rent party".. .

This is why:

I have to move from where I am living.
(No it is not an eviction)
My current dwelling is unsafe to live in & landlord who seems to be unconcerned & thinks its ok to live in an unhealthy environment & pay for that "privilege".

He was somewhat misleading in or discussions prior to my moving across country & it wasn’t until several weeks after I moved in that I came to realize he had no inclinations to correct & repair things that make the property safe to habitat (like mold in the ceiling, broken stairs, unreliable access to utilities etc)...

This is not about vanity and I am choosing no to disclose the unsafe and sanitary issues I am challenge with. I do know however I have to get out of here before it gets any worse then what it is...

I do not believe he was out to get me personally though it does little to aid me knowing that in this dilemma. My need to move is for my physical safety & health as I said I have been ill for over the last year & now readying for badly needed surgery. . Almost from the beginning, he has taken to using his keys to enter my home with prior knowledge or warning and then letting two men come in on me last week. Legal boundaries have been crossed but he seems to really believe he is not doing anything wrong.


Happily, I've found my former landlord who I enjoyed a wonderful relationship leaving in 2004 who has 2 spaces available that I can have. In every way, it will be near perfect for me if I can secure the funds. If my funding had not been delayed it would have been a no- brainer, I simply would have moved. But my previous endowment funds are now exhausted. I am not being evicted, but my choices are extremely limited at this point and the clock is ticking.

This is the 1st time in over 25 years+ that I've been with no income and have not collected unemployment in 20 years. Yes I’ve been very fortunate, worked hard and have been in the right place at the right time to have the accomplishments, I’ve enjoyed. But this time it is different…I am schedule for a badly needed surgery by the end of January 2010 and I have to be moved b4 then as I will not physically be able to move for a couple of months after that.

Like many I've been slammed by the recession. One thing for sure I have not nor will not give up. Coming home to New Orleans and seeing on an almost daily basis people pulling ways out of now way keeps me buoyed.

What I propose to do:

I’ve wracked my brains for solutions when in a moment of creative insight I came up with this: A “cyber rent party”! If you are over 40 you probably know what that is, if under 40 you may have read of it or seen reference in a movie.

Nonetheless I figure if I could by walking out there on faith and network with 200+ kind souls would hear my plea and aid a working artist to regain her footing. I will not let them down. I am delighted in the last few days I have come to enjoy some of those kind & caring souls and even among hose who want but are unable have come up with support & help in other ways.

What I propose is that the 1st 200 “patrons” will receive, post surgery & recuperation, a limited edition lapel pin design by me.

You can Google my name,Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney and see I am no slacker. I have an extensive body of work that has enjoyed even an international flavor & vibe at one point.

Now the future:

In 2010, I will have my first solo show opening in March & I go upward from there.

This is my 1st in 2 years with that and several other events lined up I could be fully functional & engaged before the end of the year, but for that to happened I have to be proactive and move and get my house literally & figuratively in order..


I’ve reached out via Face book, other networks groups as well as my blog to link to those generous souls who could help this struggling working artist. I humbly asking different ones to reach out in their network & pass on the request. You never know...

I recall a story from a speaker years ago in the early stages of my career who said in essence “when you go fishing do you cast the line out once if no fish bites, do you pack up and go home? Or do you keep casting out the line or even move to another part of the lake?”

Or as another artist said to me, “if you ask not… you have not”.

Right now is not the time for false pride. If there was another way I would have done it before now...

I am asking people if they can put this call out & I respectfully ask all who read to please not judge or condemn or send me negative comments which are counter-productive. This was not an easy thing to put out here, but I am fiercely determined to return to self sufficiency with as much dignity in tact. In fact, I am planning to in passing forward to reserve a percentage of all my future art engagement Second Harvest & Habitat for Humanity which has really been vigorous in aiding my beloved home town.
I know many of us are treading water in difficult times, but I do know as George Frasier puts it: "Net does work"

People can reach me via Facebook, my email :rhythmnhes@gmail.com, blog: www.iiammoon.blogspot.com .

I am hesitating in giving out my phone number or address online, understandably so for safety reasons, unless one of you contact me 1st. I ask of you if I have sent this to you to please not give my phone number out, unless you know the person personally and trust them. I do have Pay Pal and there are others like Money Gram/Western Union, snail mail etc. I would have to have folks' addresses so they will receive their gift this spring***
Thank you for your help, contributions or network assistance in advance. I believe in people, I believe in miracles & I believe in me
i

Taking rocks to build castles...
Jacquelyn Hughes Mooney

Thrown Rocks..

Near the levees-Lower Ninth Ward 10-09

Fallen Tree-Lower 9th Ward 10-09

Pending storm Uptown 10-09 JHM

I am writing the most difficult but necessary blog today, but have been encouraged by those who've already responded. Unless you've been visiting another plane and just returned you already know we've been heavily,deeply in a most painful recession.

No rocket scientist is needed to tell us that.

Having his shared experence wih many Americans somehow does notmakeme feel better. hs room is crowded to overflowing and more are(in)voluntarly joing his party. I know we will get through it but right now it is not a party I had no reciev an invitation to.

I've have had rugs pulled out from under me before. You would too if you have had a career in the arts & one will always manage, but truly for me this is the 1st time I've had in over 20 years have been devoid of income from any source. Its been 25 years since I've collected unemployment. Mind you, unemployment would look mighty good about right now, but that death knell occurred a painful death 4 months ago with no word on whether I would get the new extended benefis (yet).

I have to remind myself to breathe and find creative ways to care for basic needs as many others. I am thankful I have no one else who is depending on me to pull a rabbit out of that as I do not know if I could bear that and admire those who daily have to find a way out of no way.

This is no whine even though it is a tempting thought,but I cannot afford the luxury or expend the entergy in doing so.

With the rug pulled out from underneath me a few weeks ago, I have to find a way to take those rocks and build a castle and I have to do it quickly.

I am in a position right now that I have to leave my dwelling which is now unsafe for my health & physical safety.

However I cannot do this alone. And searching for a creative way to facilitate such a move.

I've come up with a possibility that I will share tomorrow

Now I've gon' & Dunnit~ Hot Dog!

Photography JHM©09 All rights reserved

I've gone & done it...

Well it has happen 2 weeks and 4 days ago I took the leap and went home to New Orleans. I have had this pull since the storm o return but circumstances as well as my own deflection delayed, though not denied, what has now happened.

After awhile of doing things long distance, it wasn't enough. Because of an extraordinary circumstance and a few exceptional persons, I tossed, discarded and gave away what I had in Oregon and not only came home, but ironically ended up 2 blocks from where my parents as a young married couple brought me home from the hospital.

I have proof the address is on my birth certificate.

The house is gone after Katrina but I track down the owners. My parents just a few months after my birth bought our house in the Lower Ninth Ward which is where I spent my childhood. And I discovered by one of local artist fiercely working it in the Lower Nines, that the last vestiges of my childhood, the elementary school I attended has now been demolished.

Too long with too much mold, asbestos & time caused its demise.

Within 3 days I was attending the Imagining America national conference http://www.imaginingamerica.org/ held at the New Orleans Villa Treme African American Museum that set the tone. ..

I will also be volunteering with Mos Chukma Institute http://www.moschukmainstitute.org/ housed at the MLK Charter School for Science & Technology , the only operating school in the Lower Ninth Ward where our 44th POTUS Obama stopped in to visit today.

The director of Mos Chukma ,which is a Houma Indian word meaning "perfect child", Amelie Parker, a vital 60-something artist residing in Bywater community in the Ninth Ward, gave up her retirement monies packed up came home to create this innovative , unique program assisting the young children in coping with bereavement, grief & loss following the storm. It is the only component in the city using the arts with mental health with young people some of with are now entering middle/ high school and now able to articulate their feelings.

http://www.moschukmainstitute.org/projects.html

Ms. Parker who has a degree in psychology & a talented artist had previously worked on a reservation in Northern California, but without hesitation came home to New Orleans to help.

Four years later with her entire retirement now spent, she is still diligently plugging in. Her son who is an English teacher came to New Orleans to volunteer for a few weeks last year and has decided to return ended up teaching literature in one of the schools on the West Bank.

Now I've come also to lend a hand... As I should.

I know Ms. Parker's vision is to broaden the scope of what she is doing in training others so this excellent program can be implemented in other schools in the parish. In my personal opinion I can easily see it being a national one too.

Her fierce devotion to these young people is being done on air as most of us can appreciate from some point of our lives. I am planning on not only giving of time, but a percentage of the sale of my art over the next year to help. Understand, Ms. Parker could have lived the last third of her life in comfort, but like many others in faith & courage came.

We could do no less...

In the last year I've come to discover that I was not the only one who had hear the pull and the song to come. I knew of 11 others who have. I can say this for a fact, the vibe is different and people are working hard.

Neither I nor any of these other people see ourselves as Moses. None of this is done out of arrogance.. It is our home too and this is what we should do. We run the gamut of occupations & professions from the visionaries, artists, business people and even an mathematician.

This 1st year I will start blogging on my first year home, as an observer & a native daughter , called Burnt Toast, Sweet Tea & Thyme.

I want to, as I renew my relationship with my home as it is being renewed, is to highlight those as one I met today and how they are in the small and the lagniappe, are doing their part, pulling their weight.

And I will also have a group by the same name meeting in my home on a monthly basis after the 1st of the year as I raise the question a the conference in who will care for the caretakers? These are the first line of people who came home who are tired, need cheering and respite to refuel and refresh.

So here we are...

I love these two quotes:

"If we truly love, we must deal with a person where that person is. Not as if all that their life can mean is wrapped up in what we are seeing and experiencing with them at that moment in time. We must deal with them in the light of what they are plus what seems to be the possibility & potential of their lives. To meet people where they are & deal with them there as if they were where they should be, this is love". ~George Frasier,Success Net http://www.frasiernet.com/ http://www.10truths2click.com/

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly."~Patrick Overton

Your Best Shot is yours to Do

There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either IN or you're OUT. There's no such thing as life in-between.
~ Pat Riley, basketball coach

Are You Giving Your Goals Your Best Effort?

Your dreams deserve better than a half-hearted effort. Meet your goals with a weak handshake and they'll soon be waving you goodbye. Since you probably don't want to look back on a life full of "almost made it" memories, it's time for total commitment. Leave it all on the field, don't hold anything back. Is there anything more satisfying than pouring out your entire being, straddling the cliff, reaching your total limit, then looking up and realizing that oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-I-really-did-it? And is there anything more tragic than failing and realizing you could have done more? If you feel "tuned out" of your current life, that's okay. Make your first goal to build a life that you can get "in"-to. Then don't look back. Make every day count and live purposefully, live energetically, live completely.

Un Pensee Ecrite~ a written thought

Suffering is the tuition one pays for a character degree.
- Richard M. Rayner, M.D.

What you really learn from hardships

"Perhaps you think this isn't very ‘positive' sounding, but I find it helps people (patients and friends) put hardship, which is inevitable, to good use," says Richard. "People can use their suffering either to gain character or become bitter. The ones who choose bitterness live a long, slow death. The ones who choose character truly live." Richard is right on the money. Happiness and sadness don't happen to us--they come from within. The story of your life will be written with or without your help. The next chapter is happening while you read this. Will you wait to see what it says later, or will you help write it?

Its the Little Things...

When eating a fruit, think of the person who planted the tree.
- Vietnamese saying

Expressing everyday gratitude

How often do you remember the people that have made little things possible for you? It's easy to take our privileges for granted. Today, be more aware of your surroundings--everything from your shirt, house, food, and car--and who has made them possible for you. Who has made it possible for you to experience such wonderful things? One way to let someone know that you truly appreciate their efforts is to send them a quick note or return the kindness in your own way.

I get a kick out of my own surprises

Cypress Trees-Lake Ponchatrain ©09JHM

Who I am really keeps surprising me.~ Poet Nikki Giovanni

What we can learn from our path to the present

Often in moments of discouragement or depression, it's easy to feel that your life is going nowhere or that change is impossible. But it's simply not true! Take a minute to think back over your life. Chances are, you'll see a lot of growth in all of your formative areas. From childish playing, to youthful impulsiveness and adult reasoning, life sure has taken you on a rollercoaster hasn't it? When you were young, someone probably asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up. If someone posed that same question to you now, what would you say? Let this reflection be an indicator of your dreams.

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.~ Unknown

Taking the more difficult road to success

www,sparkspeople.com

Cheating to get ahead might get you the grade or promotion, but in the long run it really sets you back. Intelligence, creativity, hard work, and solid character--the things that propel you forward--are not fostered by taking the easy way out. You don't earn anything by short-cutting your work. You're only cutting your potential short. Sure you might feel relieved that a stressful task has passed, but an undeserving sense of relief doesn't compare to the gratification of knowing that you completed your own work. If something in your life is difficult, meet it head on and earn the satisfaction of earning a job well done--with honesty and integrity.

The End of a Road;Begin Anew...

In 6 days I will be boarding the train heading home to New Orleans & am I excited! I had to reflect to day that I am also coming to the end of another road with few regrets and with some appreciation.



In my "sabbatical" as I call it this last year I've learned a lot of things about myself. And despite some of the trials, it was indeed a good thing so I have few regrets.

In 6 days I will be boarding the train heading home to New Orleans & am I ready to rock & roll getting the creative juices to flow!

I've learn not to take myself or others so seriously and to be serious about what is necessary.

One thing I learned is to be still.

Another is the world will not fall apart if I am not rushing pell mell . I can indeed (and did) take some of the stress off myself.

I had lots and lots of time to think, renew & enjoy my own company.

I created a garden; took up photography...

I created a new paradigm.

I got to see my grandchild born, spend time, albeit very little, with my son & saw pine trees w daisies at the ocean.

And while unfortunately I watch my health deteriorate some, I also have gain some skills and tools to renew that too. We need health care so badly for all.

I relinquished a few friendships that were not quite as friendly & gain a few new allies.

I watch deer in my yard, had a yellow tabby & a grey Himalayan cats visit me on a regular basis.

I saw lovely butterflies, humming birds and wild turkeys.

I learn not to take myself or others so seriously and to be serious about what is necessary.
And I embrace two people who had faith in my ability to renew & fly!

So I say I have few regrets, many struggles but I made it. I might not have known all of this if I had not taken that leap of faith and moved across country.

As a friend said to me "One thing is for sure: when you leap off a cliff you will do one or two things; You will hit something solid or you will learn to fly"

Well guess what Karen, I managed to do both!

How cool is that!

A Visual Symphony

Being Extraordinarily Remarkable~

A Visual Symphony

Fight Heats up

This was sent to me by the newsletter "The New Orleans Agenda" published by Vicent Sylvain of New Orleans. Interesting story and there is irony in this...

Fight Heats up over Discriminatory
Housing Laws in New Orleans area
Alice Walker, Oprah Winfrey,
and President Obama are pulled into local battle

By Jordan Flaherty NEW ORLEANS (9/11/09)
-

Rebuilding efforts in St. Bernard Parish, a
small community just outside New Orleans, have recently gotten a major boost.
One nonprofit focused on rebuilding in the area has received the endorsement of
CNN, Alice Walker, the touring production of the play The Color Purple, and even
President Obama. But an alliance of Gulf Coast and national organizations are
now raising questions about the cause these high profile names are supporting.
The dispute focuses on the responsibility of relief organizations to speak out
against injustice in the communities in which they work. Since September of
2006, St. Bernard Parish has been aggressive in passing racially discriminatory
laws and ordinances. Although these laws have faced condemnation in Federal
court and in the media, rebuilding organizations active in the parish have so
far refused to take a public position.



Racial discrimination has a long history in St.
Bernard politics. Judge Leander Perez, a fiery leader who dominated the parish
for almost 50 years, was known nationally as a spokesman for racial segregation.
The main road through the Parish was named after Perez, and his legacy still has
a hold on the political scene there. Lynn Dean, a member of the St Bernard
parish council told reporter Lizzy Ratner, "They don't want the blacks back . .
. What they'd like to do now with Katrina is say, we'll wipe out all of them.
They're not gonna say that out in the open, but how do you say? Actions speak
louder than words. There's their action."

The action Lynn was referencing is a "blood
relative" ordinance the council passed in 2006. The law made it illegal for
Parish homeowners to rent to anyone not directly related to the renter. In St
Bernard, which was 85% white before Katrina hit, this effectively kept African
Americans, many of whom were still displaced from New Orleans and looking for
nearby housing, from moving in. The Greater New Orleans Fair Housing Action
Center sued the Parish, saying the ordinance violated the 1968 Fair Housing Act.
A judge agreed, saying it was racially discriminatory in intent and impact. The
story doesn't end there. St. Bernard's government agreed to a settlement, but
the illegal ordinance was followed by another, blocking multi-family
construction in the Parish.

month, U.S. District Judge Ginger Berrigan found
the Parish to be in contempt of court, saying, "The Parish Council's intent . .
. is and was racially discriminatory." An editorial in the New Orleans
Times-Picayune agreed, saying, "This ruling strips off the camouflage and
reveals St. Bernard's actions for what they really are: an effort to keep lower-
income people and African-Americans from moving into the mostly white parish."
Relief Work Questioned St. Bernard Parish was heavily damaged by flooding in the
aftermath of Katrina. Thirteen percent of households lived below the federal
poverty line, and every home took in water.

Many organizations and volunteers have come
through to volunteer time and donate money, including United Way, Salvation
Army, and the Greater New Orleans Foundation. An organization called the St.
Bernard Project, which was founded in 2006 by two transplants from Washington,
DC, has become one of the most high profile organizations active in the region,
with millions of dollars in corporate and individual donations and thousands of
volunteers. This has been a big couple of weeks for the St. Bernard Project.

On August 29, President Obama mentioned them in
his weekly address, saying, "The St. Bernard Project has drawn together
volunteers to rebuild hundreds of homes, where people can live with dignity and
security." Last week, the touring production of the Broadway show The Color
Purple, produced by Oprah Winfrey, announced that they will be raising money for
the organization, and that author Alice Walker will be personally participating
in the fundraising.

Last year, CNN named co-founder Liz McCartney its
Hero of the Year. But this national acclamation has only increased criticisms of
the work happening in the Parish. Lance Hill, the executive director of the
Southern Institute for Education and Research at Tulane University, first raised
his voice on the issue in 2006, after the ordinance was passed. Hill is quick to
point out that he is not against rebuilding work in the Parish. However, he
adds, "If they chose to rebuild homes that Blacks and Jews would be barred from,
at a minimum they have a moral obligation to inform volunteers of the policies
of the Parish. To not do so is to mislead volunteers and donors and to become
complicit with racism."

Hill is also one of the signatories of an open
letter, released this week, which expresses deep concerns over rebuilding
efforts in the parish. "Regrettably, many relief and volunteer organizations
chose not to respond to the 'blood relative' law, remaining silent on this
issue," the letter states. "With the benefit of hindsight, we now know that St.
Bernard Parish officials interpreted silence as consent, which has now
emboldened this rogue government to pursue other means to defy the Fair Housing
Act."

Organizers say that the letter is intended to
pressure organizations to think about larger issues of injustice as they work in
the region. "It is time that we take a stand against housing discrimination in
St. Bernard and throughout the Gulf Coast," the letter states. "And make clear
what the moral imperatives are for all organizations that seek to rebuild the
Gulf Coast as a fair and just society."

Among the signers of the letter are human rights
organizations like the National Economic and Social Rights Initiative, regional
groups like Moving Forward Gulf Coast, and local initiatives like MayDay Nola,
which works on housing in New Orleans. Zack Rosenburg, the cofounder of St.
Bernard Project, is angered by the complaints of Hill and others. "We are not an
advocacy group and we're not commenting on that," he told me, referring to the
laws of the Parish. "We're helping people get home." Rosenburg added that at
least 30% of the families they have worked with have been African American, and
he asked me to "think about the Black families who are living in FEMA trailers
and want to move home, before writing this piece . . . try to build things up
instead of pulling things down."


Lance Hill and other advocates claim that working
on relief without challenging systemic injustices actually exacerbates the
problem. They point out that the number of houses rebuilt for African Americans
in the community - perhaps two hundred at the most, if you include all
nonprofits working in the area - pales in comparison to the thousands that have
potentially been excluded by the laws of the parish.

"The main reason that these relief groups have
had to disproportionately rebuild Black rentals," explains Hill, "is because the
Parish is tearing down or blocking construction of affordable housing faster
than the relief groups can rebuild." "This is why this issue in St. Bernard has
troubled me so much," adds Hill. "Exclusion is at the core of the injustices of
Katrina. The deliberate efforts to prevent people from returning and the denial
that these policies and practices were in place has been the central issue. The
exclusionary ideology that was widespread in the white community in New Orleans
became law in St. Bernard."

Organizers hope that the multiple levels of
pressure will ultimately challenge elected officials in St. Bernard Parish to
make the area an example of rebuilding with justice for all. "Our silence
doesn't help anybody," says Hill. "It destroys more than the relief groups can
ever dream of building."

Jordan Flaherty is a journalist, an editor of
Left Turn Magazine, and a staffer with the Louisiana Justice Institute. He was
the first writer to bring the story of the Jena Six to a national audience and
his reporting on post-Katrina New Orleans shared a journalism award from New
America Media. Audiences around the world have seen the television reports he's
produced for Al- Jazeera, TeleSur, GritTV, and Democracy Now.

He can be reached at neworleans@leftturn.org.

Once Upon a Walk on By~A Donkey story

Donkey story

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy?

1.Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2.Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3.Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4.Give more.

5.Expect less

Nowback to the donkey...

The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.Now don't get upset folks, that word is in the Bible. At least some versions....

Think twice, speak once

If you think twice before speaking once, you will speak twice the better for it.
- William Penn

Think twice, speak once


The idea of choosing your words carefully sounds easy enough, but how many times do you end up with your foot in your mouth? Everyone can probably recall a situation where someone offended them by saying something rude or out of line.

These comments are not only embarrassing, but they can also damage relationships. Even the way you talk to yourself can be hurtful. Instead of saying "I can't," replace it with "I wish." Swap "I'm a failure" with "I didn't succeed this time." If you say the wrong thing in front of others, chances are that people will remember it. Wouldn't you prefer to be remembered for something more positive? Once you have said something out loud it cannot be taken back, and rarely can it be undone even with a tremendous amount of work.

Stepping closer to the light at the end of the tunnel

In the depths of winter, I finally found there was in me an invincible summer.
- Albert Camus, author

Stepping closer to the light at the end of the tunnel

Hard times are inevitable--death, financial struggle, family problems, the loss of a job, depression--all of these tough times are just seasons.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "This too shall pass," and you can apply it to both the good times and the bad.

The thrill of a new relationship won't endure forever, just as the grief of losing a loved one won't either. So endure the hardships of life, knowing that time will eventually heal your wounds and you will make it through.

Think about what struggles have occurred in your life and what they taught you. No matter how dim the light at the end of the tunnel seems, it is still a light. Each day is an opportunity for that light of hope to get closer and closer, until eventually the clouds above your head part and you feel the forgotten sunshine on you again. Overcoming pain makes you stronger and better equipped to handle the next valley.

Now from me...

Sur une note qui donne à réfléchir~On a sobering note...

Ok on August 29th,2005... Hurricane Katrina made landfall in South east Louisiana.

A sobering thought: Please take a moment today in the midst of all the everyday things, the stresses & the joys in your world & be mindful of the survivors of Katrina from Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana & Texas.

Today, observations on the anniversary of Katrina will be made with many reflections such as mine. And many will bring their own unique perspective, like I, to express what it means, not means, should have meant on this occasion.

There are still 4 years later well over 3,000+ people in Louisiana alone who were swept out to sea and many who are still MIA.

It is rather sad that now it has become a short byte on the news and even the major networks have not made a comment about it nationally, yet,except CNN. Easy how somethingcan fade so quickly as new troubles loom.

(If you have cable CNN tonight 10pm EST/7pm PST will be doing a piece called "After the Storm" where N.O is today).

I can say to one and all no matter where you sit on how all this happened and what was or not done do something.

And if you cannot do something for the citizens of the Gulf Coast, know among you in your towns are former evacuees who has set up residency. Be mindful that you may not know who you are talking to so if you have something negative to say, keep it to yourself. No matter if you feel people "should let go, move on or what's wrong with you etc" today they do not need to hear that opinion.

In fact it is nothing short of remarkable the improvements that have been made. Make no mistake it will all not come together at one time nor in the way people expect it to.

In the case of N.O you cannot rebuild almost 300 year old city in 4 years. Just like many here who are re sparking their lives & health, this is being done on a far larger scale. Pre Katrina there were 800 restaurants. Post Katrina there are over 1,000. It has been nothing short of extraordinary what ordinary people can do or rise to the challenge.

As of now 72% of N.O pre-Katrina population is there including, the visionaries, entrepreneurs, community activists, artists, planners and people looking to be of service in something bigger then themselves.

Oh the energy is alive & kicking.

Laissez la bonne ville grandir (Let the Good Town Grow!)

But we should not want to forget, ever. Not completely... To do so it will be as human being can do, become complacent & too comfortable. I am not talking about picking at wounds not allowing them to heal, but remember, not letting the ones who died, those communities still building or ones who are still dealing with trauma to have what they endured be in vain...
If you have never met with that level of devastation and shock you have no right to burden someone needlessly.

At least not today...

And if you cannot assist them, assist someone in your community with a kind word, a smile or a flower in honor of them...

I am not so naive as to believe things are idyllic or peachy keen.

Lots need to be done, but I think we are going to set anew, a level or a model for others not only in the U.S. but globally since we have been thrust into being the spectacle in the arena

I love the adage "Barn burn down. Now I can see the sky!"

Que le spectacle bonne ville (Let the Good Town Show)