If it Doesn't Fit.. You must Remit

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.~-- Maya Angelou 

 

Looking through the Window in the Mill -ECO Village at Sabres in the Landes France ~Photographer Jackie Walker 


Ok y'all I am getting ready to do some serious "cyber kicking booty" today! I was writing something to a group of  amazing friends today when something struck me that was said which I've heard many a day from many a person and that is in regard to when things go bad people will beat themselves up for having a "pity party". 


As I am reading I am wondering so what in the world is wrong with a pity party? 

pit·y: 

Noun: The feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others. 

par·ty: A group of people who have gathered to participate in an activity. ... 

re·mit: Verb: Cancel or refrain from exacting or inflicting (a debt or punishment) 

I know having any sense of anything but a keep a stiff upper lip is reminescent of the Christian-Puritan pull yourself up by your bootstraps there are people who have it worst then you  hysterical background of the U.S. but c'mon now.  People get rewarded somehow no matter how perverse it is if we suffer but suffer silently, don't bother me by showing your grief.  If we cannot be kind, merciful and yes pitied our circumstance how on earth can we show it for anyone else? 

Shucks, man if I had that kind of pain, anxiety & sorrow that some deal with I would have a massive blow out of a party. It is a painful, no pun intended, that some circumstances are so horrendous for some that anyone of us under the same situation would go running screaming into the woods. 

Each one of us have our own challenges that we have to contend with each and everyday.  Some are so awesome it would take one's breath away.   I am always encouraged & excited when I see or read of each and everyone of you as you find a way to manage to have some sort of a life each and every day! 


Whether perfect or ideal, don't matter, you are living! Your humanity shows!

Having compassion is important. 

And its legal... 


And its alright...


And should be done, regularly...
It is pity with power and who better to empower yourself but yourself? And sometimes that means g'wan and have that party, have that sorrow, blow it out big time , then put it away, clean up and get up! 

I was thinking the other night as I was in my bed in my new place & thinking "wow I am now a year with no discernable income how on earth did this happened? How on earth did I managed to survive not knowing from one day to the next how I am going to do it? How on earth did I make it through a year"? 

But I did. 

And before I could feel badly, I realized I have been held up mightily with strength beyond what is normal , not of my own design... I am in awe and gratfeul for big and small, people who have stepped up to the plate in many ways & held me up; not knowing where I would be right now if I had not continued and persisted. 

No by no shape am I out of the woods. I cannot even tell you what will happened next day let along next week. I just have to be like Celie (from the Color Purple) when she said to Nettie: 

"I don't know how to fight back. I know how to stay alive". 

 
Pond- ECO Village at Sabres in the Landes France ~Photographer Jackie Walker 


In essence that is all that everyone of us is doing. 


Now then, if it doesn't fit, we must remit! 

Whatever it takes to not give something or someone more power then they earn in your life.   Give it the exit strategy, let it go wherever it need to go, just not flow with you.  It ain't easy, brother. It will hurt, lots. Some days you wil be far more magnanimous about things then others, some days you will want to scream to high heavens. But everything has a beginning & an end. It has already begun but now you have to wait for the end. 

I think we have to have a pity party once in awhile. Having pity is not a bad thing, people need to find ways to have more compassion (pity). We are not talking about being self-indulgent; we know what that looks like, but even if we indulge for a moment to be kind to ourselves and what we are dealing with so be it! 

Let it be.... 

I will say again at the end of the day, this too , I promise you, will pass. What is that song George Benson used to do "everything must change/nothing stays the same"... 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBgcgzBi-is&
feature=related 

So let us remit: 1.To refrain from exacting (a tax or penalty, for example); cancel.
b. To pardon; forgive: 

3. To restore to a former condition or position. 
 
Orchid~Photography by Mark Gilbreath 


"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it". ~Author Unknown

Clap You Hands.. clap your hands...

Maybe its the respite from cold, maybe it is the wonderful sun beaming in low 70 weather this week, but here I was early, early Saturday morning online writing... 

I woke up at 2:30 AM as in "sez wyut"? What on earth?

I had gotten already about 5 hours of sleep, but was not planning to be up this early...

But I know in part what it is about; I had a great day yesterday overall & on impulse I went by to look at a converted space that I had been curious about for months...

Since I had decided I will move this spring from where I am currently living, I figure what the heck, let me go and see.

Big mistake...

When they showed me the only available unit as I came down the entryway and turn the corner, my immediate response was OMG!  What hit me was floor to ceiling windows with a gorgeous view of New Orleans.  I rushed past seeing the other rooms to immediately go to the window which also had bay seating.

 The windows were not unlike these except wider.  I've always love Mister's house in The Color Purple.  I love lots of light, lots of windows...

My instinctive, knee-jerk reaction  was so ok "this is it"...

"Whoa slow down Nellie.. Be a grownup look around the apartment and ask question... Hold on hold you can do this, you can be mature about this" all the while my heart is doing Zumba!

The one two punch came when I discovered the rent was 50% less then I am currently paying, the building is green and it is walking distance in any direction to all I need to attend to.  Adding to boot it was high ground.

For those who may have been hiding in a cave,  you want high ground if you are to live in N.O. especially since Katrina.  Call it a knee jerk,although totally justified, reaction  post storm, you just might want the highest ground in case of flooding.  If info given me is correct, this was an old department store built in the early 1900's so you know it has survived many a hurricane, solid as a rock.

The neighborhood although having seen like many large cities a seediness, some by accident, some neglect, some by design but a neighborhood not unlike many others in this city or any other metropolitan ;it is now going throw a regeneration , a re*sparking;there are many pockets of this re-emergence all around. Fits & starts, an unplanned plan that will not benefit all, sadly.

In 2-3 years it will be impossible to get this area or at this price.  It has been known for awhile almost a decade that this area had been eyed for the expansion.

When you start seeing artists, visionaries, entrepreneurs moving into an area its a clear heads up a happening is getting ready to happen! But for the right now there are some who won't see it that way which suits me fine for the moment. Until we are priced out of the area.  I've always kicked myself one too many times by not taking advantage of the time, when the time stares me in the face...

But getting back to the apartment.. 

When I could slow my heart down some and stopped my eyes from bugging out I took a look at the rest of the unit. It is minus 1 bedroom as I currently have, does not have some of the architectural features in my current place,(but I can correct that) AND I would have to give up my veggie garden and a back yard.  Upside there is a farmer's market within walking distance.  The owners seems amendable to taking a tiny corner in the back for my  garden containers, but even in the end it is not feasible for that I could work with it. There are a few things I have to give up, but I would gain others.

Please know I am so NOT a fan of apartment living.  Its been decades for me to live in one.  Even where I live now is a 125 yr old house converted into 3 apartments.

But something about this place resonates with me.

Did I mention the windows?

 In the bedroom is also those massive windows facing the New Orleans skyline of downtown and the river. 

One things that struck me is running parallel to the building across the street is a now empty lot that in it hey day was my father's business when I was a little girl.  This area was during the height of segregation was what I called New Orleans' Harlem... Now it is, not unlike Harlem & like me, going through a resurgence.

What was shown to me, someone already got, but the next door unit will be coming up for rent after the 1st of March & larger then the one shown me. Quite timely with spring around the bend.

I am going to propose something to the owners of making the halls a walking gallery, there is lots of space for that... And of course it being my art even if it is in the common areas...The majority of the people living in the building are over 55.

So now, how will I do it.

I will find a way.

Reducing my output by 50% is quite enticing. The worst that will happen right now is I have to stay put if someone beats me to the unit.  Eventually, another will come up...

What my job is to put it out there, to speak words to truth to be ready & open for when the opportunity arises...

And clap my hands, clap my hands (with glee)

Now maybe I can go back to sleep....

The addendum to my 2AM  couldn't go back to sleep musings. 


Now I am completely wide awake!


Landrieu (Sitting) Nagin (last) & Morial (previous to Nagin).
Why? I haven't the foggiest notion, but I've learned to pay attention to my dreams; it is my subconscious, yearnings or challenge that needs figuring out, especially the ones I remember all or in part.


I know it had to do something with the place I spoke about in part one.  I also know each one had innovative visions of what New Orleans was to become and each were in different stages of that when their time ran out sans the sitting Mayor.


I look at each of their contributions, some successful some fell flat and thought of one things.


Let me put a disclaimer in here; I am not a fan of politics...


It was my dream and why they were there I don't know.


 It was a  dream...


 I was asleep.


Now, sometimes we all have things we envision or hope for yearn for to happen with us or for us.  Some will come to fruition, some will come through but not in the time or manner of our expectations and others will fall flat, not unlike these three men.  Mayor Landrieu is still the freshman Mayor, still fresh, still in his honeymoon period . Some will fuss, a LOT will resist & others will find ways to toss a monkey wrench, the kitchen sink & a baseball bat  into his vision. 


I simply am an observer


But as in the case of them or us, in certain matters, we have to wait until things get to its final conclusion. I, too, like others at times want instant gratification but despite all the effort, I simply may not get what I want when I want it and in the manner I want it. 


But it will come. 


And precise in the way it should but I wouldn't know that until the final conclusion.


Slowly I've learned, put it into practice but awhile away from it becoming a habit, to smooth myself out of the way allowing something to come to its final conclusion.


Case in point last fall I planted some wildflower seeds in a pot and nothing happened.  I tossed the pot and the residual seeds in a pile on my back step where I kept my pots and promptly forgot about them.  I did not think they would survive neglect nor the winter especially since we had a colder then seasonal winter of us.  The winter being a weird roller coaster ride in temperatures.


Much to my surprise a few days ago I came to discover they not only germinated & grew, but survived the neglect.  One pot, not only grew but gave me flowers all winter!  I did not know wildflowers could survive cold.


So i took the others thinned them, re potted all of them in new pots giving them space and air thinking that if they survived the transplants they'll be just fine.


Well as I would have it when I stepped out to get my paper this morning, the biggest one gave me blooms! Yes blooms! In 3 days! And all the other pots not only survived my transplanting but look mighty sturdy.


It brought a smile to my face apart from the fact you can tell it is the beginning of another lovely day.


I say all of this for a reason.  Sometimes we have to smooth out of our way.  


Everything and everyone has an appointed time when things  happen.  Sometimes even when we are neglectful or doing things others may look upon as not the "right" way something is to be accomplished, just may, despite everything grow & blossom if we let it be.


Those wildflowers had their own way; I was in their way & I gave up on them far too easily since they did not do things in the appointed time that I designated for them.  And then when I wasn't looking (Whew) they did what they needed to do.  Grow, glow and gave me a pleasant gift this morning...


So as I be about my day I will remember this and as I continue on working on new habits and refining the old ones I will repeat here what I saw in a woman's office yesterday: "Thank God for what you have; Trust God for what you need". 


There are some things I do not need to control; it will happen if you give it (or us) room.


Clap your hands... Clap your hands...

"Spring Rendevous" by one of my favorite artist, Charles Bibbs

http://www.theworldart.com/